Rid yourselves of all the offenses you have committed, and get a new heart and a new spirit. Why will you die, people of Israel? For I take no pleasure in the death of anyone, declares the Sovereign Lord. Repent and live! -Ezekiel 18:31-32, NIV How does the “toxic shame” excuse work? It is actually … Continue reading ““Toxic Shame” Excuse”
Category: Demons and Spiritual Warfare
Yes, it happened. Yes, you didn’t deserve it.
Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral. -Hebrews 13:4, NIV “Yes, it happened. She cheated on you. And yes, you didn’t deserve it. It’s not your fault.” You really want to help a faithful spouse. These are the sort … Continue reading “Yes, it happened. Yes, you didn’t deserve it.”
Lie: Bad Marriages Cause Infidelity.
“For out of the heart come evil thoughts—murder, adultery, sexual immorality, theft, false testimony, slander. These are what defile a person….” -Matthew 15:19-20a, NIV Bad marriages cause infidelity = Lie! When Jesus talks here about sexual immorality and adultery, I do not see any long explanation about the sad state of the culture around … Continue reading “Lie: Bad Marriages Cause Infidelity.”
Real Talk: When It Hurts SO MUCH!
***Important Disclaimer: Please seek appropriate mental health help if you are experiencing thoughts of suicide and especially if you have a plan to take your life! Divorce Minister is not a mental health provider and therefore not a substitute for direct and professional help for mental health needs. DM is a pastor, not a therapist.*** It was … Continue reading “Real Talk: When It Hurts SO MUCH!”
Stronger Than They Think
The LORD is my strength and my shield; my heart trusted in him, and I am helped: therefore my heart greatly rejoiceth; and with my song will I praise him. The LORD is their strength, and he is the saving strength of his anointed. -Psalm 28:7-8, KJV This Psalm was given to me by a … Continue reading “Stronger Than They Think”
Cheater-speak: “I’m careful not to bad-mouth you.”
Now the serpent was more cunning than any beast of the field which the Lord God had made. -Genesis 3:1a, NKJV “I’m careful not to bad-mouth you to your friends and family,” says the cheater. This is another tactic by the cheater to control the narrative of the marriage and manage their image. They want the … Continue reading “Cheater-speak: “I’m careful not to bad-mouth you.””
On Cheater Requests To Meet Up Post-Divorce
For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness? -2 Corinthians 6:14b, NIV Cheaters requesting post-divorce meetups is such a strange phenomenon to me. I know from reading others’ experiences that this is a real phenomenon. My cheater wanted to meet up after the fact (see post here). … Continue reading “On Cheater Requests To Meet Up Post-Divorce”
On Loving Lies
They perish because they refused to love the truth and so be saved. For this reason God sends them a powerful delusion so that they will believe the lie and so that all will be condemned who have not believed the truth but have delighted in wickedness. -2 Thessalonians 2:10b-12, NIV It is choice each of us … Continue reading “On Loving Lies”
Cheater-speak: “I don’t want to hurt you.”
Cheater Reason NOT to Disclose Adultery and/or Infidelity Details: “I don’t want to hurt you.” This one was an especially annoying line of reasoning. It comes packaged to faithful spouse as altruism on the cheater’s part when the reality is the cheater is refusing to disclose for his/her own selfish reasons. We do not think “altruism”–i.e. … Continue reading “Cheater-speak: “I don’t want to hurt you.””
“The Sin of Divorce” Language
“The Sin of Divorce” Language matters. Distinctions matter. Context matters. All of these are reasons for why I dislike the phrase “the sin of divorce.” It fails theologically and pastorally on many levels. My hope is that those who teach on divorce in the church stop using it altogether. The biggest issue I have with … Continue reading ““The Sin of Divorce” Language”