20 All who do evil hate the light and refuse to go near it for fear their sins will be exposed. 21 But those who do what is right come to the light so others can see that they are doing what God wants. -John 3:20-21, NLT In my experience, Cheaters sometimes tell on themselves in little moments … Continue reading “Moments of lucidity”
Category: Emotional Affair
All trust torched
“You have not taken care of the weak. You have not tended the sick or bound up the injured. You have not gone looking for those who have wandered away and are lost. Instead, you have ruled them with harshness and cruelty.” -Ezekiel 34:4, NLT What is more harsh or cruel than to blame–i.e. condemn–a … Continue reading “All trust torched”
New attention to looks!
New attention to their appearance A telltale sign of cheating is a new found focus on one’s appearance. This might manifest via going on a diet, increased exercise routine, or changing hair colors and style. In and of itself, this does not equate to cheating. However, the motive behind these changes is worth considering. I … Continue reading “New attention to looks!”
Boy, the stress!
My tears have been my food day and night, While they continually say to me, “Where is your God?” -Psalm 42:3, NKJV I remember going through a phase during my separation and divorce where I had to consciously remind myself to eat. The trauma from discovering the Other Man resulted in a twenty pound weight … Continue reading “Boy, the stress!”
PSA: Use a different therapist than your Cheater’s.
Public Service Announcement(PSA): Use a different therapist than your Cheater’s individual therapist.* If this therapist was half competent, they would not even agree to work on you as a couple. They would recognize that they naturally would be biased against you, the faithful spouse. Plus, do you really want the therapist who was present through … Continue reading “PSA: Use a different therapist than your Cheater’s.”
Overflow from the heart
21 For it is from within, out of a person’s heart, that evil thoughts come—sexual immorality, theft, murder, 22 adultery, greed, malice, deceit, lewdness, envy, slander, arrogance and folly. 23 All these evils come from inside and defile a person. -Mark 7:21-23, NIV Cheating did not happen overnight. An idea was planted. The Cheater watered it, and it produced the rotten … Continue reading “Overflow from the heart”
Really defying God
“Do everything they say to you,” the Lord replied, “for they are rejecting me, not you. They don’t want me to be their king any longer.” -I Samuel 8:7, NLT For whatever reason, recognizing the larger picture is helpful. Cheaters are not “just” rejecting their spouse. They are rejecting God. They may say otherwise. In fact, they … Continue reading “Really defying God”
Their “honesty”
“I felt like I had to lie because you would get angry if you knew,” says Cheater. What the Cheater is really saying is that they feared not having complete control over you once you were no longer in the dark about the truth. Knowledge is power as the saying goes. They did not feel like … Continue reading “Their “honesty””
Phenomenon: Kid gloves with female Cheaters
“Rebuke your mother, rebuke her, for she is not my wife, and I am not her husband. Let her remove the adulterous look from her face and the unfaithfulness from between her breasts.” -Hosea 2:2, NIV I’ve noticed a phenomenon among pastors dealing with female Cheaters: They have a tendency to advocate for gentler confrontation with female … Continue reading “Phenomenon: Kid gloves with female Cheaters”
Shattered Self Esteem
He will not crush the weakest reed or put out a flickering candle. He will bring justice to all who have been wronged. -Isaiah 42:3, NLT Shattered Self Esteem One of the many stupid things about the dynamics regarding cheating is how all the sympathy often is sucked up by the Cheater. They are treated … Continue reading “Shattered Self Esteem”