Hi Pastor Dave (DM): I think I am doing the right thing in allowing or agreeing to my divorce. I have your book and have started reading through it. Maybe you touch on it later. So far the book is focusing mainly on affairs where there has been physical contact/adultery. Here is my situation: In … Continue reading “Dear DM, Is divorce okay in my situation?”
Category: Emotional Affair
Cheater-Speak: What’s wrong with having friends?!
“Beware of false prophets who come disguised as harmless sheep but are really vicious wolves.” -Matthew 7:15, NLT “Aren’t I allowed to have ‘friends?!’” -Cheater I think this is one of the most dangerous tools at the disposal of cheaters. It effectively puts the faithful spouse on the defensive as he or she tries … Continue reading “Cheater-Speak: What’s wrong with having friends?!”
Dear Divorce Minister, How do I silence that toxic voice in my head?
Hi there, While I am nowhere near ready to begin dating again, I have been meeting new people and making new friends and I occasionally run into women who I find interesting or attractive in one way or another who I sorta mentally file away for later, when I feel ready. Unfortunately, a lot of … Continue reading “Dear Divorce Minister, How do I silence that toxic voice in my head?”
Hostage to Acknowledgement?
Are you waiting on an acknowledgment of wrongdoing by your cheater? I have some good and bad news on that front… First, I will share the bad news: You may never get an acknowledgment (and a full confession) of wrongdoing from your cheater. Some people are so disordered, cowardly, and/or wicked to do so. Waiting … Continue reading “Hostage to Acknowledgement?”
Mine! Mine! Mine! Cheater Toddler Mindset.
“‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.’ So they are no longer two, but one flesh.” -Mark 10:7-8, NIV “Mine!” A Toddler’s Mindset In Marriage One of the oddest dynamics that I have seen over and again while dealing with … Continue reading “Mine! Mine! Mine! Cheater Toddler Mindset.”
Stop blaming yourself, faithful spouse!
“For from within, out of a person’s heart, come evil thoughts, sexual immorality, theft, murder, adultery….” -Mark 7:21-22a, NLT When infidelity and abandonment via divorce occur, the faithful spouse may struggle with blaming themselves. I know I did. It is part of the grief process. We are trying to control the uncontrollable. That means we take … Continue reading “Stop blaming yourself, faithful spouse!”
Subtle blame in churches
The one who sins is the one who will die. The child will not share the guilt of the parent, nor will the parent share the guilt of the child. Ezekiel 18:20a, NIV Sometimes church leaders subtly blame faithful spouses for a divorce from a cheater. I say that it is subtle because it almost … Continue reading “Subtle blame in churches”
Cheater-Speak: “It is not the cheating. The real problem is how you….”
“It is not the cheating. The real issue is how you … (let yourself go, never talk with me, don’t bring in enough money, etc.)” -Cheater Cheaters want to talk about anything except their lies and infidelity. That would mean taking responsibility for their sins. It would be honest. And we know cheaters struggle with … Continue reading “Cheater-Speak: “It is not the cheating. The real problem is how you….””
Shaking off the dust as “forgiveness”
“But if any place refuses to welcome you or listen to you, shake its dust from your feet as you leave to show that you have abandoned those people to their fate.” -Mark 6:11, NLT At some point, we need to let go of the need for an apology and reparations for the wrongs we … Continue reading “Shaking off the dust as “forgiveness””
Celebratory Couple Divorcing?!
I don’t get it. You know. The couples that pose for a happy picture following their divorce with the decree in their hands. It is weird. What is even weirder is how society celebrates these (former) couples’ display of celebration. Odd. Divorce from a cheater is a mercy. It is a way to escape the … Continue reading “Celebratory Couple Divorcing?!”