The other day I read an article that asserted divorce prejudice is no longer a thing for the Millennial generation. This comes along with the statistics that Millennials are keeping the divorce rates down compared to Boomers. I don’t know if I agree. This might be true for Millennials outside the evangelical church world. However, … Continue reading “Millennials and Divorce Prejudice”
Category: Emotional Affair
Meaninglessness of wicked prospering
There is something else meaningless that occurs on earth: the righteous who get what the wicked deserve, and the wicked who get what the righteous deserve. This too, I say, is meaningless. -Ecclesiastes 8:14, NIV Life is not fair. This has been know for centuries as this verse from the writer of Ecclesiastes attests. Energy … Continue reading “Meaninglessness of wicked prospering”
It happened. It was wrong.
Reality validation. This is gift others can give to a faithful spouse. Sometimes we need someone to tell us the simple but hard truth. The adultery happened. And–no–we are in no way responsible for the infidelity. It was wrong. No justification for the cheater cheating exists. I think these messages are especially important for the … Continue reading “It happened. It was wrong.”
Discerning change? Look for guilt, not shame, response in cheater.
Godly sorrow brings repentance that leads to salvation and leaves no regret, but worldly sorrow brings death. -2 Corinthians 7:10, NIV When trying to determine real repentance, I recommend watching for a guilt-response as opposed to a shame-response from the cheater. What do I mean by a “guilt response” versus a “shame response?” A … Continue reading “Discerning change? Look for guilt, not shame, response in cheater.”
Do NOT enter their warped reality!
There is more hope for fools than for people who think they are wise. –Proverbs 26:12, NLT They traded the truth about God for a lie…. –Romans 1:25a, NLT Cheaters can come across as so confident in their lies. This confidence has the power to make even the most stalwart faithful spouse second-guess their instincts, hard evidence, … Continue reading “Do NOT enter their warped reality!”
Stop fighting what IS!
Even a child is known by his doings, whether his work be pure, and whether it be right. -Proverbs 20:11, KJV Look at your partner’s actions. Is this the sort of thing someone who truly loves another person would do to them? Is this the sort of thing someone who truly is sorry would do? Is this the … Continue reading “Stop fighting what IS!”
No one deserves the adulterous betrayal and discard!
Two wrongs do not make a right. -Moms around the world No one ever deserves the adulterous betrayal and discard. Another way of saying this is to say that NOTHING justifies committing sins against another. I do not read the Bible ever giving us permission to sin. Adultery is sin. Discarding a faithful spouse after cheating on … Continue reading “No one deserves the adulterous betrayal and discard!”
Vulnerable, vulnerable, vulnerable!
Beware that the ending of your marriage leaves you vulnerable! I am not suggesting living in fear. However, I recommend a sober-eyed assessment about how your needs leave you open to unhealthy relationships. In separation and early divorce, you are grieving and learning how to deal with loneliness and loss of intimacy with the opposite … Continue reading “Vulnerable, vulnerable, vulnerable!”
Cheaters “under the influence”
Do not get drunk on wine, which leads to debauchery. Instead, be filled with the Spirit…. Ephesians 5:18, NIV What if your cheater was drunk or “under the influence” of another drug when she cheated? I actually have more hope for those marriages than the ones where a substance was not involved. My reasoning is the … Continue reading “Cheaters “under the influence””
Unconditional Love and Consequences
“My son, do not make light of the Lord’s discipline,and do not lose heart when he rebukes you,because the Lord disciplines the one he loves,and he chastens everyone he accepts as his son.” -Hebrews 12:5b-6, NIV I totally believe God loves us, His children, with an unconditional love. Our place in God’s heart is not determine … Continue reading “Unconditional Love and Consequences”