… I divorced faithless Israel because of her adultery. -Jeremiah 3:8b, NLT Sometimes the marriage is over. Done. I won’t forget working out with a guy during the time of my divorce. He saw his actions as what had doomed his first marriage. This individual acknowledged that sometimes there is just “too much water under … Continue reading “Hope for cheaters, yet perhaps not for the marriage”
Category: Emotional Affair
“You HAD TO know!”
“You HAD TO know he was cheating on you!” “Come on, man! You HAD TO know she was cheating on you!” Anxious Outsider Outsiders might feel entitled to give their advice unsolicited. They might feel threatened by their vulnerability and trot out these “gems.” My response to such madness: “I don’t know what kind of … Continue reading ““You HAD TO know!””
Marriage Stressors and Infidelity
Money issues do not cause adultery. Lack of “communication” does not cause adultery. Emotional or physical distance does not cause adultery. Even one spouse committing adultery does not cause the other’s adultery. _________ All of these things put tremendous stress on the relationship. In the case of adultery, it is a death blow to what … Continue reading “Marriage Stressors and Infidelity”
Dear DM, Misleading Meme?
Dear DM, Longtime reader here. Thank you for your good work. I recently saw a facebook post by someone that I think is misleading. It says what sinners many key bible figures were, and says God qualifies the called. I thought of you when I read it, and how you clarify God expects remorse and … Continue reading “Dear DM, Misleading Meme?”
Boundary setting NOT punishment dealing
Do not be deceived: God cannot be mocked. A man reaps what he sows. -Galatians 6:7, NIV Setting a boundary is NOT about setting a punishment for the other person. The boundary is there to healthfully preserve you from whatever threatens your well-being. It is not a punishment. Rather, the boundary is a step towards … Continue reading “Boundary setting NOT punishment dealing”
It’s the choices, duh!
“A good man out of the good treasure of the heart bringeth forth good things: and an evil man out of the evil treasure bringeth forth evil things. But I say unto you, That every idle word that men shall speak, they shall give account thereof in the day of judgment.” -Matthew 12:35-36, KJV … Continue reading “It’s the choices, duh!”
A Partnership Parable
Sometimes it is easier to understand basic morality if we frame a situation differently. We are creatures who are easily caught by our own self-justifications and own excuses. Here’s a modern day parable: John and Robert are life-long friends. Their friendship started in grade school when Robert stood up to another kid trying to take … Continue reading “A Partnership Parable”
Repentant cheaters make peace with deserved losses
I will set out and go back to my father and say to him: Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you. I am no longer worthy to be called your son; make me like one of your hired servants.’ -Luke 15:18-19, NIV Until a cheater has made peace with the idea that their sins … Continue reading “Repentant cheaters make peace with deserved losses”
Don’t Bother.
Do not answer a fool according to his folly, or you yourself will be just like him. -Proverbs 26:4, NIV Has your cheater stopped cheating? Has she/he confessed the extent of the infidelity in their past? Are the affair secrets out in the open? I do not see much hope for marriages ravaged by infidelity … Continue reading “Don’t Bother.”
Brutal Honesty
Let no corrupt word proceed out of your mouth, but what is good for necessary edification, that it may impart grace to the hearers. -Ephesians 4:29, NKJV Have you experienced victimization by the hands of those who claim they are “only telling you the truth?” -Maybe they even wanted you to applaud them for their courageous “brutal … Continue reading “Brutal Honesty”