“She cheated. I’m not surprised. He should have paid her more attention.” -Outside Observer “He cheated on her. I’m not surprised. She really let herself go.” – Outside Observer These sort of observations are examples of victim blaming. JUST DON’T!!! Such Outside Observers are trading on the false notion that circumstances cause cheating as opposed … Continue reading ““She cheated. I am not surprised,” says Outside Observer”
Category: Emotional Affair
God did not author this! She did.
Let no one say when he is tempted, “I am tempted by God”; for God cannot be tempted by evil, nor does He Himself tempt anyone. – James 1:13, NKJV God did not author this! She did. An unfortunate consequence of allowing human freedom is allowing humans to make sinful choices. Those choices belong to … Continue reading “God did not author this! She did.”
It’s a Buffet of Bad Options!
“’If a man is found lying with a married woman, then both of them shall die, the man who lay with the woman, and the woman; thus you shall purge the evil from Israel.’” -Deuteronomy 22:22, NASB. While much is made of God’s proclamation of hating divorce in Malachi 2:16, I fear that many … Continue reading “It’s a Buffet of Bad Options!”
Taylor Swift, Sexual Assault, and Adultery Victim Blaming Parallels
Recently, Taylor Swift testified in a court case where a DJ was suing her for losing his job. This DJ, David Mueller, had grabbed Taylor Swift’s bottom–i.e. sexually assaulted her–and got fired over this unacceptable behavior by his employer (more info here). Taylor was testifying about her feelings regarding his firing. Essentially, she makes it … Continue reading “Taylor Swift, Sexual Assault, and Adultery Victim Blaming Parallels”
Dear DM, I just don’t know what to do….
Dear DM, Please I need your help…. I am a 25 year old female who is in a 1 year relationship with a 52 year old man, but that’s not inherently where the issue lies…. The man I am dating is a pastor. And he is married. I met him when the pastor at the … Continue reading “Dear DM, I just don’t know what to do….”
Some people are just cowards.
“Why won’t he just own up and confess already? I know he cheated. “ -Exasperated faithful wife In my experience, faithful spouses are tough and courageous people. They have gone through the fire and have had their amazing strength exposed. Cheaters, on the other hand… Some people are just plain cowards. Faithful spouses are confused by … Continue reading “Some people are just cowards.”
Pay Attention to Power Dynamics!
“So what if you forgave her? You would always be able to hold her cheating over her head.” – Cheater “supporter” What so many faithful spouses fail to recognize early is how the relationship with their cheater is really about the cheater having and maintaining power. Remember the adage: Knowledge is power. We think that … Continue reading “Pay Attention to Power Dynamics!”
Cheater Claiming To Have Overcome Their Sin
“I talked it through with my [individual] therapist, and it [the cheating] is no longer a problem. The real problem in our marriage is how you ….” – Cheater Never take a cheater on their word alone. Cheaters are accomplished manipulators. They have been known to play seasoned pastors and therapists. Some cheaters have honed … Continue reading “Cheater Claiming To Have Overcome Their Sin”
The “Model Divorced”
“Yes, we are divorced. But we’re friends. I understand I made mistakes, too, in our marriage.” – “Model” Divorcee If you do get divorced, I sense this is what people–maybe Christians especially–want to hear. They want a nice narrative where they do not have to pick sides. And maybe some divorcees can become friends with each other after the … Continue reading “The “Model Divorced””
Prospering Cheater Envy
There is something else meaningless that occurs on earth: the righteous who get what the wicked deserve, and the wicked who get what the righteous deserve. This too, I say, is meaningless. -Ecclesiastes 8:14, NIV The observation of the wicked prospering while the righteous are punished is not a new one. That is what this verse … Continue reading “Prospering Cheater Envy”