2 And it came to pass in an eveningtide, that David arose from off his bed, and walked upon the roof of the king’s house: and from the roof he saw a woman washing herself; and the woman was very beautiful to look upon. 3 And David sent and enquired after the woman. And one said, “Is … Continue reading “Clergy Sexual Abuse Is SO Damaging!”
Category: Emotional Affair
Validation LONG before Forgiveness talk
Then they sat on the ground with him for seven days and nights. No one said a word to Job, for they saw that his suffering was too great for words. -Job 2:13, NLT Please do not underestimate how traumatic and disorienting discovering marital infidelity is! Speaking from my personal experience as well as from … Continue reading “Validation LONG before Forgiveness talk”
“Root of bitterness”
See to it that no one falls short of the grace of God and that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many. Hebrews 12:15, NIV In order to avoid the discomfort of facing injustice and naming it as such, some Christians turn on faithful spouses calling them “bitter.” They are too spineless to … Continue reading ““Root of bitterness””
Clarity Among Confusion
For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind. -2 Timothy 1:7, KJV Dealing with infidelity is incredibly confusing. The one who vowed to remain faithful to you until death do you part is behaving in very odd ways. They are supposed to … Continue reading “Clarity Among Confusion”
Crazy Counseling – Time to find someone else!
Then the man said, “The woman whom You gave to be with me, she gave me of the tree, and I ate.” -Genesis 3:12, NKJV Now, over a decade removed from the events, I shake my head as I remember what I tolerated and endured. This blog is the fruit of hard-earned lessons from that season. One of … Continue reading “Crazy Counseling – Time to find someone else!”
Sometimes the wife cheats and then abandons
She [the adulteress] gives no thought to the way of life; her paths wander aimlessly, but she does not know it. -Proverbs 5:6, NIV Sometimes, the wife decides she would rather live life as a single person. What makes this especially painful for those of us left behind is how shame is compounded to this … Continue reading “Sometimes the wife cheats and then abandons”
Possible to repent? Sure. Likely? No.
As a dog returns to its vomit, so fools repeat their folly. -Proverbs 26:11, NIV Within the Christian community, so much pressure is placed upon faithful spouses to “reconcile” with their cheating partners. Sometimes lip service is given to the importance that the cheater has actually changed and will not cheat again. However, the general … Continue reading “Possible to repent? Sure. Likely? No.”
Hold fast to truth!
“Everyone on the side of truth listens to me.” -John 18:37b, NIV Truth: You did not drive your spouse to cheat (and abandon you). Truth: You do not deserve to be abused, (and cheating is abuse.) Truth: Divorcing a cheater is not sin. Truth: Divorcing an unrepentant cheater is not dooming your kids; rather, you … Continue reading “Hold fast to truth!”
The “Emotional Affair” Blameshift
“Well, I wouldn’t have cheated with her if you had paid me more attention,” says Cheater. “He listened to me. This is just a cry for help,” says Cheater. A major danger with emotional affairs is to underestimate their damage and to take them lightly. My first marriage’s ending started with a series of “emotional … Continue reading “The “Emotional Affair” Blameshift”
What are you believing?
You are in no way responsible for what was done for you but… …you ARE 100% responsible for what you believe about it! A major part of recovering from marital infidelity is recovering from believing lies about ourselves. These are lies that the cheater often seeds in our lives while they are working to discard … Continue reading “What are you believing?”