Category: Emotional Affair

Practiced Life of Lies

Lying lips are abomination to the Lord: but they that deal truly are his delight. -Proverbs 12:22, KJV One of the main reasons I am really skeptical of marriages “surviving” infidelity is the challenge of changing a sin pattern in the cheater. This is the pattern of speaking and believing lies. I add the second part, … Continue reading “Practiced Life of Lies”

Letting go of bad relationships

If a man be found lying with a woman married to an husband, then they shall both of them die, both the man that lay with the woman, and the woman: so shalt thou put away evil from Israel. -Deuteronomy 22:22, KJV Sometimes we cling to other unhealthy relationships besides the relationship with our cheater. … Continue reading “Letting go of bad relationships”

The false “victim mentality” of cheaters

You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye. -Matthew 7:5, NIV A blinding pride. This is what cheaters have. They are so caught up in entitlement that they do not see or care what damage they are doing … Continue reading “The false “victim mentality” of cheaters”

No more marriage investments, only withdrawals

May your fountain be blessed, and may you rejoice in the wife of your youth. -Proverbs 5:18, NIV When one partner refuses to do the things that both enjoy, you know this person is already gone. Instead, this person seems fixated on berating the faithful partner about his or her “shortcomings.” This is NOT a … Continue reading “No more marriage investments, only withdrawals”

Exposing accepted adultery and divorce “wisdom”

Don’t let anyone capture you with empty philosophies and high-sounding nonsense that come from human thinking and from the spiritual powers of this world, rather than from Christ. -Colossians 2:8, NLT So much advice or counsel in the church on adultery and divorce is “high-sounding nonsense” in my opinion. Most do not approach the topic … Continue reading “Exposing accepted adultery and divorce “wisdom””

Religious behavior does not fool God

For day after day they seek me out;     they seem eager to know my ways, as if they were a nation that does what is right     and has not forsaken the commands of its God. -Isaiah 58:2, NIV Some cheaters excel at doing things that make them look like “good” Christians. That is part of the trauma … Continue reading “Religious behavior does not fool God”

Cheater-Speak: “I worked through my affair with my therapist already.”

“I cheated on you emotionally. But don’t worry. I already worked through it with my individual therapist.” -Cheater Sin is crouching at the door, eager to control you. -Genesis 6:4b, NLT I wonder how many here have heard something like this from their cheater. The cheater has declared themselves “fixed” but are unwilling “to show … Continue reading “Cheater-Speak: “I worked through my affair with my therapist already.””

Game Film and “Critical Errors” Applied to Cheaters

After a Saturday football game, my college coaches would take the game “film” and grade how each of us–athletes–performed in that contest. One category used in their film grading system was called “critical errors.” This label was reserved for mistakes so big that the mistake caused the play to fail. For an offensive lineman, a … Continue reading “Game Film and “Critical Errors” Applied to Cheaters”

Wanting it all back to “normal”

18 Remember ye not the former things, neither consider the things of old. 19 Behold, I will do a new thing; now it shall spring forth; shall ye not know it? I will even make a way in the wilderness, and rivers in the desert. -Isaiah 43:18-19, KJV When the news broke for me, I remember driving … Continue reading “Wanting it all back to “normal””