“He has nothing to do with our marriage problems. You know that!” -Caught Cheater If your cheater is responding with some version of this, your marriage is over. The cheater is refusing to face the fact that adultery is truly a MAJOR marriage problem. You have nothing to work with here. The cheater is firmly … Continue reading “Cheater-Speak: “He has nothing to do with our marriage problems.””
Category: Emotional Affair
Abusive use of God’s name!
Let no man say when he is tempted, I am tempted of God: for God cannot be tempted with evil, neither tempteth he any man: But every man is tempted, when he is drawn away of his own lust, and enticed. Then when lust hath conceived, it bringeth forth sin: and sin, when it is finished, bringeth … Continue reading “Abusive use of God’s name!”
Calling for forgiveness or denial?
“For everyone practicing evil hates the light and does not come to the light, lest his deeds should be exposed.” – John 3:20, NKJV Silence about infidelity is the same thing as avoiding the light. It says the person does not what his or her wicked deeds exposed. They have not truly embraced repentance and … Continue reading “Calling for forgiveness or denial?”
“Your part” questioning
The fathers shall not be put to death for the children, neither shall the children be put to death for the fathers: every man shall be put to death for his own sin. – Deuteronomy 24:16, KJV “What did you contribute to the breakdown of your marriage?” -Inquiring Christian I do not like this sort … Continue reading ““Your part” questioning”
Coming to terms…
Discovering your spouse was unfaithful is an earth-shaking experience! When this happened, the faithful spouse who can come to terms with reality will be able to navigate this awful experience with some safety and sanity. They will save themselves some unnecessary suffering, in other words. Here are some important things to come to terms with: … Continue reading “Coming to terms…”
Trauma of adultery and resource reframing “forgiveness”
Yesterday, I came across an interesting article about forgiveness and trauma care from a mental health provider, Anastasia Pollock, LCMHC. It is entitled: “Why I Don’t Use the Word ‘Forgiveness’ in Trauma Therapy” Pollock writes, As soon as I say, “You don’t have to forgive,” the person usually breathes a sigh of relief. Once we … Continue reading “Trauma of adultery and resource reframing “forgiveness””
Cheating as a way to manipulate the faithful spouse
“I just was trying to get your attention [by cheating on you],” says Cheater. Whether they frame it as a “cry for help” or blame it as caused by the marriage conditions, the same mechanism is at work: The cheater is trying to use the cheating as a means to manipulate the faithful spouse to … Continue reading “Cheating as a way to manipulate the faithful spouse”
Addicted to the sexual attention
“This is the way of an adulterous woman: She eats and wipes her mouth and says, ‘I’ve done nothing wrong.’” -Proverbs 30:20, NIV I am convinced some cheaters are just addicted to the sexual attention of others. They love the high of being pursued. This is why the typical Christian advice of pursuing a cheater … Continue reading “Addicted to the sexual attention”
Some just love the darkness.
And the judgment is based on this fact: God’s light came into the world, but people loved the darkness more than the light, for their actions were evil. -John 3:19, NLT Some people will choose the darkness over the light. This was true in Jesus’ day, and it is certainly true today. A wise person … Continue reading “Some just love the darkness.”
We are actually commanded to judge!
I meant that you are not to associate with anyone who claims to be a believer yet indulges in sexual sin…. It isn’t my responsibility to judge outsiders, but it certainly is your responsibility to judge those inside the church who are sinning. -I Corinthians 5:11a, 12, NLT Adultery certainly qualifies as sexual sin. What does the … Continue reading “We are actually commanded to judge!”