“You need to move on,” says the Privileged. When something as traumatic as a surviving the adultery and divorce from a cheater happens, you are forever marked. Over time, I have found the scars fade. However, they will always be there. People pushing for one to “move on” are pushing denial of these scars. It … Continue reading ““Move on,” Privilege speaks.”
Category: Grief
Congratulations and clear-sighted thinking
When my divorce was finalized, my divorce lawyer congratulated me. I did not feel very celebratory in that moment. To be honest, I was still hoping for a miracle in the last hour. The divorce finalizing activated just another level of grief for me. It was real. That was a tough moment. I have no … Continue reading “Congratulations and clear-sighted thinking”
Misjudged Jesus “gets it!”
He was despised and rejected by men, a man of deep sorrows who was no stranger to suffering and grief. We hid our faces from him in disgust and considered him a nobody, not worthy of respect. -Isaiah 53:3, TPT During this Holy Week, I think it important to write a reminder about Jesus. This is a … Continue reading “Misjudged Jesus “gets it!””
Reminder to forgive really for whom?
Rejoice with those who rejoice, and weep with those who weep. -Romans 12:15, NKJV What astounds me about some Christians is how they believe they are helping faithful spouses by telling them that they must forgive their cheater. Most of us–faithful spouses–already understand forgiving our cheater is on the docket of things to do in … Continue reading “Reminder to forgive really for whom?”
Spurned Love
“Jerusalem, Jerusalem, you who kill the prophets and stone those sent to you, how often I have longed to gather your children together, as a hen gathers her chicks under her wings, and you were not willing.” -Matthew 23:37, NIV Spurned love. I do not believe a faithful spouse never loved their cheater. We did. … Continue reading “Spurned Love”
Stuck relationships
If a man be found lying with a woman married to an husband, then they shall both of them die, both the man that lay with the woman, and the woman: so shalt thou put away evil from Israel. -Deuteronomy 22:22, KJV Sometimes we cling to other unhealthy relationships besides the relationship with our cheater. … Continue reading “Stuck relationships”
Song for those left behind
Being abandoned hurts. I know I am preaching to the choir on this one. He’s a song talking about being left:
Spiritual trauma best addressed by faithful pastors
A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones. -Proverbs 17:22, NIV Much of the suffering faithful spouses experience is spiritual in nature. Writing this blog for a couple of years, the questions I encounter center around deep spiritual pain and confusion. These are not so much the nuts and … Continue reading “Spiritual trauma best addressed by faithful pastors”
Healing comes in time. It does.
Blessed are they that mourn: for they shall be comforted. -Matthew 5:4, KJV Today, I was struck by the progress I have made in my healing journey. This came to mind as I was listening to someone teach on leaving an abuser. Fresh off my divorce, this teaching would have been too painful for me. … Continue reading “Healing comes in time. It does.”
Loss of “normal”
18 Remember ye not the former things, neither consider the things of old. 19 Behold, I will do a new thing; now it shall spring forth; shall ye not know it? I will even make a way in the wilderness, and rivers in the desert. -Isaiah 43:18-19, KJV When the news broke for me, I remember driving … Continue reading “Loss of “normal””