Category: Grief

My mistake in re-engaging

The Other Man was discovered. I wrote a letter to my (then) wife letting her know I would not tolerate her cheating anymore. She could either choose to work to prove to me that her cheating days were over, or she could expect me to terminate my relationship–friendship included–with her permanently. Obviously, she chose the … Continue reading “My mistake in re-engaging”

On envying cheater prosperity

There is something else meaningless that occurs on earth: the righteous who get what the wicked deserve, and the wicked who get what the righteous deserve. This too, I say, is meaningless.  -Ecclesiastes 8:14, NIV The observation of the wicked prospering while the righteous are punished is not a new one. That is what this … Continue reading “On envying cheater prosperity”

Expect to lose some “friends”

You know that everyone in the province of Asia has deserted me, including Phygelus and Hermogenes. -2 Timothy 1:15, NIV Not all your “friends” before the infidelity discovery will remain your friends afterwards. This is a hard truth to accept. Yet it is a reality best accepted to avoid further heartache. I think this is one of … Continue reading “Expect to lose some “friends””

Pro-Tip: Faithful spouses need condemnation free spaces, pastors!

 Who dares accuse us whom God has chosen for his own? No one—for God himself has given us right standing with himself. Who then will condemn us? No one—for Christ Jesus died for us…. -Romans 8:33-34a, NLT What faithful spouses need more than spiritual advice are people willing to listen to them without condemnation. Faithful spouses are recovering … Continue reading “Pro-Tip: Faithful spouses need condemnation free spaces, pastors!”

Temptation of the fantasy “reconciliation”

I can distinctly remember driving down a major highway back home wishing the pain to end. Part of me knew there was no going back to how things “were.” I still missed the fantasy, though. The ending of my marriage came with tremendous losses; this I knew in the deepest of places. I just wanted … Continue reading “Temptation of the fantasy “reconciliation””

Do not take marriage advice from unrepentant cheaters!

Why do we take advice from an unrepentant cheater? I know I am not the only one who did. At least, I did this for a time. I opened myself up to her criticism as if she was qualified to identify “the problems.” This likely comes from a desperation to “save the marriage.” A solution … Continue reading “Do not take marriage advice from unrepentant cheaters!”

Discerning godly sorrow

Godly sorrow brings repentance that leads to salvation and leaves no regret, but worldly sorrow brings death. – 2 Cor. 7:10, NIV When you see the fruit of advice destroying someone or yourself, you are seeing something bringing death as this verse tells us. This is not from God. God is not one who came … Continue reading “Discerning godly sorrow”