The following lesson is a lesson I learned the hard way: Be choosy as it comes to who you use as a marriage therapist (if you choose to go that route and the cheater is willing). If the counselor has been your cheater’s individual therapist, they are not suited to help you both as a … Continue reading “Advice from a non-therapist…”
Category: Reconciliation
The hellish price for Christian “support”
Hate evil and love what is good; turn your courts into true halls of justice. Perhaps even yet the Lord God of Heaven’s Armies will have mercy on the remnant of his people. -Amos 5:15, NLT Divorce Minister: Taking Adultery Seriously is an online community where I do not blame the victims of adultery. Too often, I … Continue reading “The hellish price for Christian “support””
Some ways to help a faithful spouse
A Christian brother comes over one night. He crumples onto your couch tears overflowing. Through his heaving sobs, you learn his wife has left him and is having sex with another man. The hollow and desperate look in his eyes tears at your heart. What can you do? I will start with the negative first. These dangerous responses … Continue reading “Some ways to help a faithful spouse”
Even Jesus Did Not Force Reconciliation!
“O Jerusalem, Jerusalem, thou that killest the prophets, and stonest them which are sent unto thee, how often would I have gathered thy children together, even as a hen gathereth her chickens under her wings, and ye would not!” -Matthew 23:37, KJV Even Jesus did not force reconciliation of His Bride! This is what this … Continue reading “Even Jesus Did Not Force Reconciliation!”
Sometimes it is not fixable.
“Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing!” -Isaiah 43:18-19a, NIV Sometimes the marriage is not fixable, and it comes time to focus on a new thing. A cheater who refuses to repent makes a marriage not fixable. It would be unwise to reinvest in a … Continue reading “Sometimes it is not fixable.”
We still have cemeteries.
Therefore, just as sin entered the world through one man, and death through sin, and in this way death came to all people, because all sinned…. -Romans 5:12, NIV We still have cemeteries. In fact, I have one less than a mile from my house. It is a pretty full one at that. We still … Continue reading “We still have cemeteries.”
Hi DM, I agree, but I have heard so many Christians tell faithful spouses…
Hi DM, It is true that the cheater almost never repents when discovered, at least most of the time. But I’ve heard so many Christians tell faithful spouses that they should pray for their love ones to repent, that it is their duty to keep the marriage because it is a covenant and they can … Continue reading “Hi DM, I agree, but I have heard so many Christians tell faithful spouses…”
PSA: The worst piece of advice I followed in my first marriage’s ending.
“Contend with your mother, contend, For she is not my wife, and I am not her husband; And let her put away her harlotry from her face And her adultery from between her breasts…” -Hosea 2:2, NASB While I do not mind the end result–the merciful divorce paving the way to my marriage to Mrs. DM–I am still … Continue reading “PSA: The worst piece of advice I followed in my first marriage’s ending.”
Dear Divorce Minister, Any advice would help.
Dear Divorce Minister, My husband and I have only been married a year. I felt like we had a good relationship. He was my best friend. We communicated well, we were very loving, caring, and supportive to each other, yet almost immediately after we were married I had a gut feeling that something wasn’t right. … Continue reading “Dear Divorce Minister, Any advice would help.”
Even God requires repentance before welcoming back!
“If you want to come back, O Israel, you must really come back to me. You must get rid of your stinking sin paraphernalia and not wander away from me anymore.” -Jeremiah 4:1 (from 1-2 block), THE MESSAGE This verse comes on the heals of the chapter where God declares His divorce of Israel over … Continue reading “Even God requires repentance before welcoming back!”