Now the overseer is to be above reproach, faithful to his wife…. -1 Timothy 3:2a, NIV Growing up, I admired the late Ravi Zacharias as an intellectual hero of the Christian faith. In high school and my undergraduate years, I would regularly listen to his radio broadcasts as he presented a “brainy” Christianity. For someone … Continue reading “Fall From Grace: Ravi Zacharias and Clergy Sexual Abuse”
Category: Sin
Triggering phrase: “Open and honest”
“We need to have open and honest communication,” says Cheater. When I hear the phrase “open and honest,” I am slightly triggered. It sends me back to the conflict with my ex-wife as our marriage ended. The words aren’t bad in and of themselves. Such a goal for communication is admirable. We want to be … Continue reading “Triggering phrase: “Open and honest””
Cheaters not behaving as if married
But the way of the wicked is like deep darkness; they do not know what makes them stumble. -Proverbs 4:19, NIV A common theme of stories with cheaters is how they exploit faithful spouse trust. One of those ways is to take advantage of the faithful spouse’s trust that they would not behave in ways … Continue reading “Cheaters not behaving as if married”
Cheater-Speak: “We were married too young.”
“We just married too young. That’s why it didn’t work out.” -Cheater I just do not buy the “married too young” explanation for divorce. It is an excuse. This is a tidy lie to cover up for the cheater’s character deficits and to help people avoid feeling uncomfortable in facing the hard truth: The cheater … Continue reading “Cheater-Speak: “We were married too young.””
Will you allow Satan drive you away or will you run towards God?
His wife said, “Still holding on to your precious integrity, are you? Curse God and be done with it!” -Job 2:9, MSG When the calamity of infidelity discovery strikes, we have two option: 1) Allow the sins of “man” drive us away from God with a curse. Or 2) Run to God as our only … Continue reading “Will you allow Satan drive you away or will you run towards God?”
Public Service Announcement: Cheating is abuse!!!
Should a man take his body, which is part of Christ, and join it to a prostitute? Never! – I Corinthians 6:15b, NLT When someone is a cheater, they are also an abuser. You cannot have one without the other. Soul rape is abusive. I am astounded by how cheating and adultery are too often treated … Continue reading “Public Service Announcement: Cheating is abuse!!!”
DM, Am I going to be broken and defined by this forever?
Hi DM, A follow-up question for you. As a reference – I’m going through a divorce after my spouse entered into another affair (sex addict). During a support group, another person who had also experienced infidelity (who is still with their cheater) said, “This is going to scar you for the rest of your life. … Continue reading “DM, Am I going to be broken and defined by this forever?”
Image protection over real repentance
Cheaters are often more worried about what people think about them than what they actually did. This is the reason that they are so upset when faithful spouses dare tell others about their adultery. Such revelations make them look bad. It is hard to spin committing adultery in a positive light–especially in a Christian community. (Albeit, some … Continue reading “Image protection over real repentance”
Cheater demanding you be “open and honest”
“Why can’t you just be open and honest with me?! I am being completely open and honest with you,” says a lying cheater in couples therapy. Openness and honesty is a noble attribute of healthy relationships. That is what makes this cheater plea so dangerous. It looks good to an outsider. In fact, it might … Continue reading “Cheater demanding you be “open and honest””
Most basic moral code failure
Jesus replied. “There is only One who is good. If you want to enter life, keep the commandments.” “Which ones?” he inquired. Jesus replied, “‘You shall not murder, you shall not commit adultery, you shall not steal, you shall not give false testimony…” -Matthew 19:17b-18, NIV Keeping the Ten Commandments are required for entering (eternal) life per … Continue reading “Most basic moral code failure”