I work in hospice and have the opportunity to watch the poignant beauty of marriages that have lasted well past fifty years.* I say, “poignant” because I feel both awed by the sheer beauty of a couple still caring for each other after many decades together as well as sad by my own loss. Recently, … Continue reading “That dismembered feeling.”
Category: Sin
A shot
Peace. One of the things that gave me peace–after some time of healing–about my first marriage ending was that I gave it a shot. Once I knew about the adultery, I kicked the ball back into her court. I gave her the option of repenting from her cheating or continuing with divorce. She chose divorce. … Continue reading “A shot”
Dear DM, I want to reconcile, but…
Dear Divorce Minister, I married my husband after 1.5 years of dating, in church. Both of us were Christian or so I thought. After 9 months of marriage, when I was 36 weeks pregnant, my husband came back from an overseas trip and told me he cheated on me. He asked for a divorce. He … Continue reading “Dear DM, I want to reconcile, but…”
Be best friends with your ex? No, Christian, you don’t.
“Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You travel over land and sea to win a single convert, and when you have succeeded, you make them twice as much a child of hell as you are.” -Matthew 23:15, NIV Public Service Announcement: Faithful spouses, you don’t have to become BFFs with … Continue reading “Be best friends with your ex? No, Christian, you don’t.”
Dumb stuff “Christians” say
Even fools are thought wise if they keep silent, and discerning if they hold their tongues. -Proverbs 17:28 More Christians could learn from that fool from Proverbs 17:28 who held his tongue when it comes to marriages ravaged by adultery. Sadly, the advice and condemnation come all too freely for faithful spouses. Here a few … Continue reading “Dumb stuff “Christians” say”
No “Smiting Shelters” Allowed!
Jonah had gone out and sat down at a place east of the city. There he made himself a shelter, sat in its shade and waited to see what would happen to the city. – Jonah 4:5, NIV And so, Jonah built himself a shelter to watch God, hopefully, smite the Ninevites. He made … Continue reading “No “Smiting Shelters” Allowed!”
Life legacy and fleeting nature of our lives
Our days on earth are like grass; like wildflowers, we bloom and die. -Psalm 103:15, NLT How fleeting and short life is. This was impressed upon me recently when a good friend was killed with his wife in a car accident. We do not know when our final day is. A cheater lives as if … Continue reading “Life legacy and fleeting nature of our lives”
Cheating to “get attention”
“I had to cheat to get your attention.” -Cheater This is an especially sick cheater-speak. The cheater trades on a truth–namely, the affair got your attention. This obscures the lie that only an affair could get your attention and/or such a means justifies the ends. Plenty of things will get another person’s attention that we should not do! … Continue reading “Cheating to “get attention””
Don’t give up on God, faithful spouse!
Blessed is the one who perseveres under trial because, having stood the test, that person will receive the crown of life that the Lord has promised to those who love him. -James 1:12, NIV The temptation to give up on God is great when going through the spiritual abuse that often comes with a divorce from a … Continue reading “Don’t give up on God, faithful spouse!”
It is not you, faithful spouse.
When a cheater cheats, it is important to understand that such behavior has nothing to do with you, faithful spouse. It is about the cheater’s character. These sinful actions are the overflow of wickedness in the cheater’s heart (see Mark 7:21-23). Do not let a pastor or a cheater or a counselor convince you otherwise! … Continue reading “It is not you, faithful spouse.”