“I wasn’t trying to cheat on you. It just sort of ‘happened.’” -Cheater A cheater speaking like this is an unrepentant cheater. How do I know? Well, repentance starts with the honesty of owning one’s own choices and behavior. The cheater speaking like this is not being honest on those fronts. Adultery is just something that … Continue reading “Cheater-Speak: “I wasn’t trying. It just happened.””
Category: Sin
False Grace: Tullian Tchividjian starts new church
Tullian Tchividjian, grandson of Rev. Billy Graham, is back in the news today. Apparently, he is starting a new church. This is the same person who was caught cheating on his wife with a congregant and being removed from a prominent Presbyterian church over this moral failure (see here). He found another job with a … Continue reading “False Grace: Tullian Tchividjian starts new church”
Beware of power struggles!
But Jesus called them together and said, “You know that the rulers in this world lord it over their people, and officials flaunt their authority over those under them.” -Matthew 20:25, NLT “You will just keep that [her cheating] over her head forever [if she stayed married to you].” -Cheater apologist Some people view all relationships … Continue reading “Beware of power struggles!”
Like a rebelling teenager or toddler!
Did you ever feel like the big, bad parent with your cheater? I think sometimes some engage in cheating behavior as a way to try and resolve family issues (non-therapist speaking here). They did not feel safe to do that with their mother or father. So, the faithful spouse gets all their rebellion in its … Continue reading “Like a rebelling teenager or toddler!”
Learning to trust yourself, again.
How could I have missed that?! I do not know if you can relate to asking this question of yourself. However, I think the fractured relationship with oneself is a relationship almost always needing attention. Part of the devastation of discovering a cheating spouse is discovering the deception was ongoing for a long period of time, … Continue reading “Learning to trust yourself, again.”
Does not end well…
21 Under three things the earth quakes,And under four, it cannot bear up:…23 Under an unloved woman when she gets a husband,And a maidservant when she supplants her mistress. -Proverbs 30:21, 23, NASB (emphasis mine) I can still picture the moment… We had just moved into our first home we bought together. It was in our bedroom. … Continue reading “Does not end well…”
Divorcing a personality disordered cheater
What do you do if your cheater is narcissist and committed making the divorce full of drama? I think it goes back to remembering what you control: YOU. This means you can choose whether to take their disordered bait or to let the circus go on without you. The best response sometimes is no response … Continue reading “Divorcing a personality disordered cheater”
Tip of the “Cheating Iceberg” is enough!
When dealing with a cheater who has lived a double life for months (or years), sometimes the iceberg is a huge one. You may only know a very little of what the cheater actually did. That was enough to sink the marriage. Sometimes, I believe, God spares us the pain of learning all the cheating details. He … Continue reading “Tip of the “Cheating Iceberg” is enough!”
You were chosen, wanted.
“Now you are my friends, since I have told you everything the Father told me. You didn’t choose me. I chose you.” -John 15:15b-16a, NLT I think one of the most endearing part of owning a dog (or parrot, in my case) is how they demonstrate how much they choose and want you! In this, they are … Continue reading “You were chosen, wanted.”
Cheater Contempt
Here is the deceptive way of the adulterous woman: she takes what she wants and then says, “I’ve done nothing wrong.” -Proverbs 30:20, TPT While I believe we can all learn from our mistakes and sins in a relationship, I caution against the counsel to own our marriage sins with a cheater in active infidelity. … Continue reading “Cheater Contempt”