Cheater-Speak: “Open and Honest”

“I have to be open and honest.” -Cheater This is a manipulation game for the unaware. A cheater seeking “openness” from a faithful spouse is really asking for them to show all their cards while the cheater holds their own close to the chest. It is a plea for one-sided disclosure. Openness is not the … Continue reading “Cheater-Speak: “Open and Honest””

Forgiveness does not alter historical facts.

It still feels strange for me to even speak about how my first marriage ended.   I feel internal pressure and accusation as if speaking the facts means I have not forgiven her or am bitter. That’s a lie, by the way. But it is a hard one to shake growing up amidst a Christian … Continue reading “Forgiveness does not alter historical facts.”

How about talking about God loving adultery victims?!

“Jesus is “‘the stone you builders rejected, which has become the cornerstone.’” -Acts 4:11, NIV God loves thieves. True. God loves rapists. True. God loves adulterers and adulteresses. True. But does God love their victims? Does God love the robbed? Does God love the raped? Does God love adultery victims? I know God does. He identifies as one … Continue reading “How about talking about God loving adultery victims?!”

Do not blame the faithful spouse for the cheater’s lack of repentance

“Jerusalem, Jerusalem, you who kill the prophets and stone those sent to you, how often I have longed to gather your children together, as a hen gathers her chicks under her wings, and you were not willing.” -Matthew 23:37, NIV An injustice faithful spouses experience when divorce is on the table is being blamed for … Continue reading “Do not blame the faithful spouse for the cheater’s lack of repentance”

Relief of Acknowledgment

Rejoice with them that do rejoice, and weep with them that weep. -Romans 12:15, KJV When going through adultery discovery, the validation of true friends is a balm to a hurting soul. Religious people are tempted to foist “forgiveness” on the grieving faithful spouse. They skip over the acknowledgement of the severe injustices the faithful … Continue reading “Relief of Acknowledgment”

Cheaters as entitled and arrogant!

Ye adulterers and adulteresses, know ye not that the friendship of the world is enmity with God? whosoever therefore will be a friend of the world is the enemy of God. Do ye think that the scripture saith in vain, The spirit that dwelleth in us lusteth to envy? But he giveth more grace. Wherefore … Continue reading “Cheaters as entitled and arrogant!”

Cheaters claiming the “toxic shame” excuse

Rid yourselves of all the offenses you have committed, and get a new heart and a new spirit. Why will you die, people of Israel? For I take no pleasure in the death of anyone, declares the Sovereign Lord. Repent and live! -Ezekiel 18:31-32, NIV How does the “toxic shame” excuse work? It is actually … Continue reading “Cheaters claiming the “toxic shame” excuse”