And no marvel; for Satan himself is transformed into an angel of light. -2 Corinthians 11:14, KJV While discovering adultery is awful, I think some of the more lasting pain comes from the positive experiences one had while married to a cheater. These memories–whether built on a lie or not–suggest things could have been otherwise. … Continue reading “Good memories bring the pain”
Category: Sin
A cheater version of “honesty”
“Well, I have learned that I have to be open and honest. You never … (fill-in the cheater’s pet accusation of faithful spouse).” Cheater to pastor/couple’s counselor Does this ring a bell for anyone? If it does, I submit it does as it is part of the demonic playbook to destroy faithful spouses. To be clear, I am … Continue reading “A cheater version of “honesty””
Shaking off their dust
“But go rather to the lost sheep of the house of Israel. And as ye go, preach, saying, The kingdom of heaven is at hand. … And whosoever shall not receive you, nor hear your words, when ye depart out of that house or city, shake off the dust of your feet.” -Matthew 10:6-7, 14, … Continue reading “Shaking off their dust”
Can a cheater remarry?
“And if she divorces her husband and marries another man, she commits adultery.” Mark 10:12, NIV Can a cheater remarry? The simple answer to this question is “Yes.” However, the full answer is more complicated than that. If the question is whether a cheater can remarry another person without sinning, then I think the … Continue reading “Can a cheater remarry?”
“Toxic Shame” as Cheater Self-Pity
“Talking about it just triggers my toxic shame. I can’t face what I did.” -Cheater This is a real conundrum for a faithful spouse. It is hard to heal when you do not have some of the basic facts and your spouse is refusing to help on that number citing “toxic shame.” The “toxic … Continue reading ““Toxic Shame” as Cheater Self-Pity”
Top 5 DM Posts of 2018
Top 5 Most Viewed Posts in 2018: The following posts garnered more than a thousand views each this past year. I have linked to each one with their title (just click on the title). And I have given a brief summary after each. Without further ado… 5. Kept It On to The End This is … Continue reading “Top 5 DM Posts of 2018”
Hope for cheaters, yet perhaps not for the marriage
… I divorced faithless Israel because of her adultery. -Jeremiah 3:8b, NLT Sometimes the marriage is over. Done. I won’t forget working out with a guy during the time of my divorce. He saw his actions as what had doomed his first marriage. This individual acknowledged that sometimes there is just “too much water under … Continue reading “Hope for cheaters, yet perhaps not for the marriage”
Divorce Minister Blog and Book: Divorce-Positive Resources for Evangelicals and Others
But in your great mercy you did not put an end to them or abandon them, for you are a gracious and merciful God. Nehemiah 9:31, NIV What do I mean by a “divorce-positive” resource for evangelicals? -Do I mean divorce is the answer to all marital problems? No. -Do I mean divorce is a … Continue reading “Divorce Minister Blog and Book: Divorce-Positive Resources for Evangelicals and Others”
“You HAD TO know!”
“You HAD TO know he was cheating on you!” “Come on, man! You HAD TO know she was cheating on you!” Anxious Outsider Outsiders might feel entitled to give their advice unsolicited. They might feel threatened by their vulnerability and trot out these “gems.” My response to such madness: “I don’t know what kind of … Continue reading ““You HAD TO know!””
Forgiveness when they are running away…
Forgive as the Lord forgave you. -Colossians 3:13b, NIV It is hard to give someone a gift when they are running away from you. This is the picture of someone who is unwilling to repent and turn to you for the gift of forgiveness. They are not in a position to receive the gift. … Continue reading “Forgiveness when they are running away…”