Money issues do not cause adultery. Lack of “communication” does not cause adultery. Emotional or physical distance does not cause adultery. Even one spouse committing adultery does not cause the other’s adultery. _________ All of these things put tremendous stress on the relationship. In the case of adultery, it is a death blow to what … Continue reading “Marriage Stressors and Infidelity”
Category: Sin
Dear DM, Misleading Meme?
Dear DM, Longtime reader here. Thank you for your good work. I recently saw a facebook post by someone that I think is misleading. It says what sinners many key bible figures were, and says God qualifies the called. I thought of you when I read it, and how you clarify God expects remorse and … Continue reading “Dear DM, Misleading Meme?”
Thoughts on HuffPo Article
An article appeared on Huffington Post on December 13th entitled: “A Therapist Explains: Can a Relationship Truly Heal After an Affair? Yes, but expect a different relationship on the other side” (Click on title to be directed to the article). It is a mailbag sort of article where someone writes in about healing from an affair … Continue reading “Thoughts on HuffPo Article”
“Failed Marriage” Usage
Divorce = “Failed Marriage” Is a marriage that ends other than in divorce thereby “successful?” I may be speaking from my own baggage or sensitivities on this. Plenty of divorced individuals seem to have no problem with this word selection. However, I do not like the word choice where “failed marriage” is used interchangeably for … Continue reading ““Failed Marriage” Usage”
Boundary setting NOT punishment dealing
Do not be deceived: God cannot be mocked. A man reaps what he sows. -Galatians 6:7, NIV Setting a boundary is NOT about setting a punishment for the other person. The boundary is there to healthfully preserve you from whatever threatens your well-being. It is not a punishment. Rather, the boundary is a step towards … Continue reading “Boundary setting NOT punishment dealing”
When a cheater-ex gets remarried…
“And if a woman divorces her husband and marries someone else, she commits adultery.” -Mark 10:12, NLT Unless a biblical exception is met (like your now ex-spouse cheated on you), this holds true in a spiritual sense. The remarriage is adultery in God’s eyes. It ought not to surprise us, though, this does not deter … Continue reading “When a cheater-ex gets remarried…”
It is a complicated grief.
Grief hurts. It surprises even years after the loss. You might think you have “dealt with that” only to discover feelings ambush you at some surprise moment. Our culture does not do grief well. Churches can be especially bad on this number. This is particularly true as it comes to the grief associated with a … Continue reading “It is a complicated grief.”
It’s the choices, duh!
“A good man out of the good treasure of the heart bringeth forth good things: and an evil man out of the evil treasure bringeth forth evil things. But I say unto you, That every idle word that men shall speak, they shall give account thereof in the day of judgment.” -Matthew 12:35-36, KJV … Continue reading “It’s the choices, duh!”
A Partnership Parable
Sometimes it is easier to understand basic morality if we frame a situation differently. We are creatures who are easily caught by our own self-justifications and own excuses. Here’s a modern day parable: John and Robert are life-long friends. Their friendship started in grade school when Robert stood up to another kid trying to take … Continue reading “A Partnership Parable”
Repentant cheaters make peace with deserved losses
I will set out and go back to my father and say to him: Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you. I am no longer worthy to be called your son; make me like one of your hired servants.’ -Luke 15:18-19, NIV Until a cheater has made peace with the idea that their sins … Continue reading “Repentant cheaters make peace with deserved losses”