Category: Sin

Mailbag: What do I do with an enabling MIL?

Dear Divorce Minister, ….back in Feb. I discovered my husband of 20 years had been having a 2 year affair. About 2 weeks later I discovered that my MIL, who prides herself on being an ‘upstanding Christian woman’ who attends church twice a week, knew about the affair! I caught my husband by using a … Continue reading “Mailbag: What do I do with an enabling MIL?”

Seeking Forgiveness or Accountability Avoidance?

Then David confessed to Nathan, “I have sinned against the Lord.” Nathan replied, “Yes, but the Lord has forgiven you, and you won’t die for this sin. Nevertheless, because you have shown utter contempt for the word of the Lord by doing this, your child will die.” -2 Samuel 12:13-14, NLT Is the cheater asking for forgiveness or simply seeking to avoid … Continue reading “Seeking Forgiveness or Accountability Avoidance?”

Cheater, focus on YOUR part!

“She will just keep this hanging over my head. I don’t think she will ever really forgive me.” -Cheater to pastor Cheater, focus on YOUR own part! A wise pastor and Christian counselor will not take this bait to bash the faithful spouse. Instead, he or she will remind the cheater that he only controls … Continue reading “Cheater, focus on YOUR part!”

Pastors, we are past talking marriage enrichment issues.

Pastors, we–faithful spouses–are past talking about marriage enrichment issues. One of the many annoying things about talking to some Christians about infidelity is how they seem incapable of basic spiritual care triage. They do not understand how working on “communication skills” is not going to save a marriage where one partner refuses to stop banging … Continue reading “Pastors, we are past talking marriage enrichment issues.”

Real Christians hate adultery!

Don’t just pretend to love others. Really love them. Hate what is wrong. Hold tightly to what is good. -Romans 12:9, NLT Real Christians hate adultery because adultery is wrong! You would think this is a given among Christians and pastors, but faithful spouses–like myself–have discovered otherwise. This good hate is conspicuously absent. In fact,I … Continue reading “Real Christians hate adultery!”

PSA: Being “miserable” is no excuse to cheat!

Public Service Announcement: Being “miserable” is no excuse to cheat! What astounds me is how some pastors do not think this one through very well. They “joke” about their wives “putting up” with them even in the presence of a divorce pastor whose wife cheated on him. They fail to see how insensitive that “joke” … Continue reading “PSA: Being “miserable” is no excuse to cheat!”

Divorce Shame Evil!

And Joseph her husband, being a righteous man and not wanting to disgrace her, planned to divorce her secretly. -Matthew 1:19, NASB (footnote alternate translation used) Divorce Shame Evil! When Christian leaders rail against divorce under all circumstances, they are engaging in an evil practice of which they may not be aware. They may not see … Continue reading “Divorce Shame Evil!”

Naive Christians Will Never Understand

“And whosoever will not receive you, when ye go out of that city, shake off the very dust from your feet for a testimony against them.” -Luke 9:5, KJV Some cheaters are unfit company. The best we can do is limit or end our contact with some individuals who refuse to bend the knee to … Continue reading “Naive Christians Will Never Understand”

And then the cheating is uncovered.

…and be sure your sin will find you out. -Numbers 32:23b, KJV All those emotionally cold counseling meetings. All the finger-pointing and fault-finding sessions. All the anger over what seemed petty yet was treated as “life and death” marriage problems.   …then the cheating is uncovered, and it all starts to make sense. While it … Continue reading “And then the cheating is uncovered.”