Public Service Announcement (PSA): They did NOT have to cheat on you! No matter what. They chose sin over godliness, and that is on them. Personally, I think this is the most tragic thing about marital infidelity. It is also one of the oldest of lies–i.e. that they “had to” cheat. The cheater did … Continue reading “PSA: They did not “have to” cheat!”
Category: Sin
Sick toying Cheaters
Some cheaters are acutely aware of the power they have over the faithful spouse. They understand that divorcing their spouse will mean the professional destruction of the faithful spouse. Plus, they may know that the faithful spouse is highly committed to working through even infidelity. With this knowledge, they toy with the faithful spouse taking … Continue reading “Sick toying Cheaters”
If everyone is focused on your “shortcomings”…
If everyone is focused on your “shortcomings,” then they aren’t bothering the Cheater. This is a classic move by Cheaters. They convince the pastor or other helper to focus upon the faithful spouse and their so called “shortcomings.” The faithful spouse takes the hit as they might be terrified of the marriage ending. It is … Continue reading “If everyone is focused on your “shortcomings”…”
Cheater-Speak: “But we were living apart then!”
“It is not adultery. We were living apart at the time,” says Cheater. A cheater trying to avoid responsibility for violating their marriage vows might attempt to use the “geography excuse.” This is the one where they excuse their behavior as “acceptable” since they were living apart from their spouse. The separation might have even … Continue reading “Cheater-Speak: “But we were living apart then!””
Back-handed “Confession”
“Fear of man will prove to be a snare, but whoever trusts in the LORD is kept safe.” -Proverbs 29:25, NIV “I should have been more ‘honest’ with you [about your faults],” says Cheater. Back-handed Confessions I wonder how many of us endured back-handed “confessions” where our Cheater admitted to faults that were really … Continue reading “Back-handed “Confession””
The accusations are just “interesting” today.
The words of the reckless pierce like swords, but the tongue of the wise brings healing. -Proverbs 12:18, NIV I was helping Mrs. DM clean up our basement yesterday evening. While sorting through folders with old papers, I came across some of my notes from the time of my first marriage’s implosion. These notes outlined … Continue reading “The accusations are just “interesting” today.”
A divorced pastor is an asset.
3 Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, 4 who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God. -2 Corinthians 1:3-4, NIV A divorced pastor is an asset. Some churches … Continue reading “A divorced pastor is an asset.”
In the midst
4 Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me. 5 Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies: thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over. -Psalm 23:4-5, KJV … Continue reading “In the midst”
Sucked back into their chaos
Cheaters are “gifted” in sucking you back into their chaos. If you spent years allowing your Cheater to do what they wanted, it is hard to change that dynamic. It is difficult to stand up for oneself and hold to appropriate boundaries. They will test your boundaries. It is what they do. For example, you … Continue reading “Sucked back into their chaos”
So Freaking Selfish!
An adulterous woman consumes a man, then wipes her mouth and says, “What’s wrong with that?” -Proverbs 30:20, NLT So FREAKING Selfish! Cheaters are so very self-centered and self-serving. Even after getting caught, they will continue make choices to sooth their own desires. It is symptomatic of their sick hearts. Sometimes, it is hard to … Continue reading “So Freaking Selfish!”