Discovering your spouse was unfaithful is an earth-shaking experience! When this happened, the faithful spouse who can come to terms with reality will be able to navigate this awful experience with some safety and sanity. They will save themselves some unnecessary suffering, in other words. Here are some important things to come to terms with: … Continue reading “Coming to acceptance of some hard stuff”
Category: Sin
Control, not conversation!
“We NEVER talk,” says Cheater. The irony of this statement is the Cheater is saying it to the faithful spouse. It is self-refuting. So, it is evidently not about talking. Then what is the Cheater after? I think it is control. They create this straw man argument of “not talking” to paint the picture as … Continue reading “Control, not conversation!”
Using cheating as manipulation
“I just was trying to get your attention [by cheating on you],” says Cheater. Whether they frame it as a “cry for help” or blame it as caused by the marriage conditions, the same mechanism is at work: The cheater is trying to use the cheating as a means to manipulate the faithful spouse to … Continue reading “Using cheating as manipulation”
Yeah, space is NOT for healing!
“I just need space to heal,” says Cheater on why she’s moving out of the martial home. Cheaters seeking space are NOT seeking space for “healing.” Your Cheater is seeking space to continue cheating without the complexity of having you around to kill their buzz. They might even believe the lie that they are telling … Continue reading “Yeah, space is NOT for healing!”
Addicted to the romantic attention
“This is the way of an adulterous woman: She eats and wipes her mouth and says, ‘I’ve done nothing wrong.’” -Proverbs 30:20, NIV I am convinced some cheaters are just addicted to the sexual or romantic attention of others. They love the high of being pursued. This is why the typical Christian advice of pursuing … Continue reading “Addicted to the romantic attention”
Ancient Family Spiritual “Stuff”
14 Don’t team up with those who are unbelievers. How can righteousness be a partner with wickedness? How can light live with darkness? 15 What harmony can there be between Christ and the devil? How can a believer be a partner with an unbeliever? –II Corinthians 6:14-15, NLT As a spiritual care practitioner, I have odd interests. One … Continue reading “Ancient Family Spiritual “Stuff””
Cheater-Speak: Not my truth!
“That might be YOUR truth, but that’s not my truth!” cries an exposed Cheater. Cheaters are big on trying to control how people perceive them. They will go through all sort of word-gymnastics to avoid the real truth. When someone dares to point out what they are doing is sin, they will twist the … Continue reading “Cheater-Speak: Not my truth!”
Loving darkness
And the judgment is based on this fact: God’s light came into the world, but people loved the darkness more than the light, for their actions were evil. -John 3:19, NLT Some people will choose the darkness over the light. This was true in Jesus’ day, and it is certainly true today. A wise person … Continue reading “Loving darkness”
Called to Judge “In House”
I meant that you are not to associate with anyone who claims to be a believer yet indulges in sexual sin…. It isn’t my responsibility to judge outsiders, but it certainly is your responsibility to judge those inside the church who are sinning. -I Corinthians 5:11a, 12, NLT We are commanded to judge those who … Continue reading “Called to Judge “In House””
No other reason
“Why did you grab your contraception while I was away,” asks faithful spouse. “Oh, I was just grabbing things,” says Cheater. Cheaters might grab their contraception and then boldly lie about the why. There is only one reason to grab contraception–namely, to have sex. Cheater is having or is about to have sex with someone … Continue reading “No other reason”