No one can serve two masters. Either you will hate the one and love the other, or you will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and money. -Matthew 6:24, NIV Always Calculating THEIR “Deal!” One dynamic with Cheaters is how they approach relationships. The marriage is simply … Continue reading “Always calculating THEIR deal!”
Category: Sin
Cheater Criticisms
I remember believing once that I had to consider everyone’s critical words. The idea is that I had to weigh if any truth were in them. This included words from my Cheater and her apologists. It could be the vilest attack on my character and person, but I would need to sort through the words … Continue reading “Cheater Criticisms”
Lifestyle of Cheating
In this the children of God and the children of the devil are manifest: Whoever does not practice righteousness is not of God, nor is he who does not love his brother. -I John 3:10, NLT I wonder if Cheaters act surprised sometimes when caught because they have been cheating so long without detection. Of course, I … Continue reading “Lifestyle of Cheating”
How dare we? Ha.
How dare we object to being humiliated by our Cheater?! How dare we object to our Cheater dirty dancing with someone else?! How dare we object to our Cheater taking another partner as their plus one?! How dare we object to our Cheater bad mouthing us to our “friends?!” Cheaters treat faithful spouses as the … Continue reading “How dare we? Ha.”
Well, what did you contribute to the breakdown of your marriage?
“Well, what did you contribute to the breakdown of your marriage?” I hate that question. It is a “Loaded Question”–meaning it assumes you did something to destroy your marriage. Such questions are errors in reasoning–i.e. logical fallacies. While the question looks reasonable, it is really just a dressed up version of “The Shared Responsibility Lie,” … Continue reading “Well, what did you contribute to the breakdown of your marriage?”
“But I wasn’t perfect either.”
“But I wasn’t perfect in our marriage either,” says Faithful Spouse. Do you have to be without sin to be the innocent party regarding the end of your marriage? I remember going through my trial with the denomination and struggling with a version of this question. It was difficult to see myself as the “innocent … Continue reading ““But I wasn’t perfect either.””
On Cheaters Still Stuck
He will sit like a refiner of silver, burning away the dross. He will purify the Levites, refining them like gold and silver, so that they may once again offer acceptable sacrifices to the Lord. -Malachi 3:3, NLT Discovering infidelity is certainly a fiery trial. We can allow this fire to refine us as many of … Continue reading “On Cheaters Still Stuck”
The Confession Manipulation
So, your Cheater confesses to an affair. That’s a good first step to repentance, right?! Maybe…. Sadly, Cheaters can use confessions as a means to manipulate the faithful spouse. They try to contain the damage while blaming the faithful spouse for their sins. This is especially the case when the only confession is a confession … Continue reading “The Confession Manipulation”
Arrogant Cheaters
As the Scriptures say, “God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.” -James 4:6b, NLT The spiritually fatal flaw of cheaters is their pride. They behave as if they know better than everyone, including God. Such individuals are beyond hope until they are humbled. Humility is essential for godliness. A cheater bereft of … Continue reading “Arrogant Cheaters”
Not all equal
My (now) ex and I went to a couple who were lay ministers. That was a mistake (if the goal was to avoid divorce). They were well-meaning people, but they were also very wrong in assessing our situation. Instead of focusing on my ex’s need to truly repent and repair our marriage due to her … Continue reading “Not all equal”