“Yes, we are divorced. But we’re friends. I understand I made mistakes, too, in our marriage.” – “Model” Divorcee If you do get divorced, I sense this is what people–maybe Christians especially–want to hear. They want a nice narrative where they do not have to pick sides. Maybe some divorcees can become friends with each other after the … Continue reading ““Model Divorced” Expectations”
Category: Sin
Choosing to not dwell on troubling thoughts
Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid. -John 14:27, KJV “Let NOT your heart be troubled…” (Emphasis mine) This is a command from Jesus. A command that implies we have a … Continue reading “Choosing to not dwell on troubling thoughts”
Calculating power dynamics
4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. -I Corinthians 13:4-5, NIV “You would just hold this over my head for the rest of our marriage if I stayed,” … Continue reading “Calculating power dynamics”
Your parents or in-laws should NOT call the shots!
And he said, “‘This explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.’ Since they are no longer two but one, let no one split apart what God has joined together.” -Matthew 19:5-6, NLT A parent (or in-law) inserting themselves into the marriage … Continue reading “Your parents or in-laws should NOT call the shots!”
“I had to…” Cheater lie
“I had to find someone else, because you never were interested in sex with me,” says the cheater. “I had to cheat with him, because that was the only way I could get your attention,” says the cheater. “I had to ____ (fill in the blank),” says the cheater. The “I had to …” lie … Continue reading ““I had to…” Cheater lie”
Regarding Envy of Cheater Prosperity
There is something else meaningless that occurs on earth: the righteous who get what the wicked deserve, and the wicked who get what the righteous deserve. This too, I say, is meaningless. -Ecclesiastes 8:14, NIV The observation of the wicked prospering while the righteous are punished is not a new one. That is what this … Continue reading “Regarding Envy of Cheater Prosperity”
“Telling would hurt his reputation.”
“Telling would hurt his reputation,” says Cheater Apologist. No, what has harmed his reputation is behaving in a harmful way. People knowing about it is just revealing his TRUE reputation. Faithful spouses are often too hesitant to speak the ugly truth about their cheater. They worry that they would be wrong to say out loud … Continue reading ““Telling would hurt his reputation.””
Not Blaming: Who does it really benefit?
Not Blaming: Who does it really benefit? I would argue refusing to assign blame in a situation with marital infidelity “benefits” the cheater. They get to be treated as if what happened was either a shared problem or an unfortunate event (both lies, by the way). In other words, they get to avoid taking responsibility … Continue reading “Not Blaming: Who does it really benefit?”
Review of “Betrayal: The Perfect Husband”
“Betrayal: The Perfect Husband” is a three-part documentary on Hulu based on a podcast (“Betrayal: Season One”) on the same subject matter. The story follows one faithful spouse, Jen, and the story of her discovering her husband, Spencer, as both a cheater and criminal having sexually abused some of his high school students. The TV … Continue reading “Review of “Betrayal: The Perfect Husband””
“Stuck in Victimhood” Label
He has shown you, O mortal, what is good. And what does the Lord require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God. -Micah 6:8, NIV Is it acting justly to shame infidelity victims for daring to voice the truth of being victimized? This is what can happen when … Continue reading ““Stuck in Victimhood” Label”