“Do I forgive him [boyfriend who introduced her to the world of prostitution]? Not in the traditional sense of the word. He feels guilty, so much so that he cannot accept the share of blame logic apportions to him, and while he cannot accept his own responsibility he cannot ask for forgiveness, and so it … Continue reading “Not able to forgive”
Category: Sin
She claims to be a Christian. Do I need to stay married?
Yet if the unbelieving one leaves, let him leave; the brother or the sister is not under bondage in such cases, but God has called us to peace. I Corinthians 7:15, NASB When a partner is abusive and leaves or forces a faithful partner to separate, is a divorce an option for the abused partner … Continue reading “She claims to be a Christian. Do I need to stay married?”
Displaced Pain
“You shall not commit adultery.” -Exodus 20:14, NIV Displaced Pain I suspect many of our Cheaters are dealing with some sort of pain in their lives. They may use their pain as excuse to engage in destructive behaviors of all sorts. Sadly, faithful spouses are impacted by their poor copping mechanisms. Just because your Cheater … Continue reading “Displaced Pain”
Facing difficult truths
Discovering your spouse was unfaithful is an earth-shaking experience! When this happened, the faithful spouse who can come to terms with reality will be able to navigate this awful experience with some safety and sanity. They will save themselves some unnecessary suffering, in other words. Here are some important things to come to terms with: … Continue reading “Facing difficult truths”
Common “Christian” Manipulations
The Lord blessed the latter part of Job’s life more than the former part. -Job 42:12a, NIV Christians are terrible as far as how they attempt to manipulate faithful spouses into staying married to unrepentant cheaters. I can think of several spiritually abusive moves that faithful spouses endure in various Christian communities who take a dim or … Continue reading “Common “Christian” Manipulations”
Cheating as manipulation
“I just was trying to get your attention [by cheating on you],” says Cheater. Whether they frame it as a “cry for help” or blame it as caused by the marriage conditions, the same mechanism is at work: The cheater is trying to use the cheating as a means to manipulate the faithful spouse to … Continue reading “Cheating as manipulation”
Attention Addiction
“This is the way of an adulterous woman: She eats and wipes her mouth and says, ‘I’ve done nothing wrong.’” -Proverbs 30:20, NIV I am convinced some cheaters are just addicted to the sexual or romantic attention of others. They love the high of being pursued. This is why the typical Christian advice of pursuing … Continue reading “Attention Addiction”
I wonder.
You know how I am scorned, disgraced and shamed; all my enemies are before you. -Psalm 69:19, NIV I wonder… …how many “friends” knew she was cheating on me? This is one mystery that will likely forever remain unsolved. I do suspect the number who knew was far more than I would wish were the case. … Continue reading “I wonder.”
“Not my truth.”
“That’s not my truth! God wants me to be happy,” cries an exposed Cheater. Cheaters are big on trying to control how people perceive them. They will go through all sort of word-gymnastics to avoid the real truth. When someone dares to point out what they are doing is sin, they will twist the … Continue reading ““Not my truth.””
Adultery as an escape
An adulterous woman consumes a man, then wipes her mouth and says, “What’s wrong with that?” -Proverbs 30:20, NLT Some Cheaters “escape” the mundane issues of their lives into a fantasy world with their affair partner(s). You can never compete with this as the adulterous relationship is based on a fantasy–and not the reality of … Continue reading “Adultery as an escape”