A theory I have about some cheaters is that they are simply behaving like adolescents who never felt free to rebel against authoritarian parents. Maybe they were always the “good girl” or “good boy” in the family to keep the peace? Then they grew up and married; however, they never really discovered what they believed as they … Continue reading “Late Blooming Rebellion”
Category: Sin
Divorcing in order to remarry
11 He told them, “Whoever divorces his wife and marries someone else commits adultery against her. 12 And if a woman divorces her husband and marries someone else, she commits adultery.” -Mark 10:11-12, NLT Without doubt, someone who divorces their spouse in order to obtain another is clearly committing adultery in God’s eyes. That is not to say all … Continue reading “Divorcing in order to remarry”
“Talking about that triggers my toxic shame.”
“Talking about that triggers my toxic shame. So, let’s talk about something else,” says Cheater. Anguish over the awful things they did may very well be real. And they need to go through it to heal the matter, NOT avoid it. Honestly, Cheaters talking about toxic shame are often using it as excuse to avoid … Continue reading ““Talking about that triggers my toxic shame.””
Actions Over Words
They say they’re sorry…. …but refuse to cut off contact with their affair partner. I am sorry to tell you that they are NOT truly sorry. Their actions betray the truth. They are sorry that they were caught! They say they want an open and honest relationship… …yet they continue to lie to you and … Continue reading “Actions Over Words”
Demons and Cheating
Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil walks about like a roaring lion, seeking whom he may devour. -I Peter 5:8, NKJV When I speak of the demonic and cheating, I want to be clear. I do NOT believe or support the idea of a cheater being a mere victim of the demonic. … Continue reading “Demons and Cheating”
Cheaters Playing “The Martyr”
“Let’s separate. I think that would be best for us both to heal,” says Cheater. Some cheaters will attempt to cloak their sins in robes of nobility. They will profess mutual benefit while using such as a cover to betray they spouse. That is just how some cheaters “roll.” They play the long-suffering martyr. However, … Continue reading “Cheaters Playing “The Martyr””
“You MUST have known!”
“You MUST have known about her cheating,” says anxious outsider. “No way you didn’t have an idea that she was cheating,” says another anxious outsider. Whether or not you had suspicions (or even knew of the cheating) is not the same as giving them permission to cheat. Let’s be honest: Anxious people saying such things … Continue reading ““You MUST have known!””
If we confess our sins…
If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness. -I John 1:9, NIV If we confess… This condition is rarely met with a cheater. They are unwilling to come clean with all their sins. Certainly, they are reluctant to seek forgiveness from their … Continue reading “If we confess our sins…”
Wait to date
To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven…. -Ecclesiastes 3:1, KJV So, you decided to divorce your cheater. However, you are still married. Please do not date during this limbo period. You will have plenty of time to do this after the divorce is finalized. This is a good … Continue reading “Wait to date”
Worried About Forever Holding It Over Their Heads
“I’m concerned that you will hold this [affair] over my head forever if I stay,” Cheater declares. A cheater who makes such a statement is still more concerned about themselves than the trauma they inflicted on their spouse by cheating. The statement really is revealing. Such a cheater still believes it is about their wishes … Continue reading “Worried About Forever Holding It Over Their Heads”