Unwilling to identify with victims

Responding to Clergy Sexual Abuse situations: “There but for the grace of God go I,” says prominent Christian leader. We have a problem with church leaders over-identifying and supporting predators in the church. People–myself included–do not like feeling powerless. Yet victims are often the powerless ones in these scenarios. So, it makes sense that people … Continue reading “Unwilling to identify with victims”

Fight for your marriage by looking at your issues?!

“She cheated,” says Faithful Spouse. “Well, what you’ve got to do is fight for your marriage. Focus on fixing your shortcomings so that she wants to come back,” says Clueless Christian. No marriage exists to fight for as long as your cheater keeps lying and cheating. The very first step is to get the Cheater … Continue reading “Fight for your marriage by looking at your issues?!”

Envying your Cheater?

Don’t follow after the wicked ones or be jealous of their wealth. Don’t think for a moment they’re better off than you. They and their short-lived success will soon shrivel up and quickly fade away like grass clippings in the hot sun. -Psalm 37:1-2, TPT Much energy can be wasted in cheater envy. Been there. Done … Continue reading “Envying your Cheater?”

Bethel Church’s Dawna De Silva On CSA Victim Care

Controversy continues to swirl around Bethel Church in Redding, California. I have written already about one situation involving their now former senior leader, Ben Armstrong, and the allegations–that I believe to be true–that he engaged in Clergy Sexual Abuse (CSA) of “Sarah.” He was restored years ago (although, he is currently on administrative leave), and … Continue reading “Bethel Church’s Dawna De Silva On CSA Victim Care”

Still… bad enough

A cheater does not need to be a total monster in order to be bad for you. I suspect most cheaters (if not all) have some “redeeming” qualities about themselves. If they didn’t, we probably never would have married them in the first place. They are mix–like all of us–of good and bad traits. But … Continue reading “Still… bad enough”

“There but for the grace of God go I” Response

“I see these church leaders fall, and I say to myself, ‘There but for the grace of God go I,’” says Pastor talking about Clergy Sexual Abuse situations.  But now I am writing to you that you must not associate with anyone who claims to be a brother or sister but is sexually immoral or … Continue reading ““There but for the grace of God go I” Response”

“Remain Teachable” Spiritual Abuse

Though the arrogant have smeared me with lies,     I keep your precepts with all my heart. -Psalm 119:69, NIV “Remember, you need to stay teachable,” says arrogant authority figure. In my experience, religious authorities employ the “unteachable” label as a weapon to dismiss people who resist their control. This is spiritual abuse, by the way. … Continue reading ““Remain Teachable” Spiritual Abuse”