“I cheated, but I’m fine now after talking with my individual therapist. We’re here to deal with what drove me to do that,” says manipulative Cheater.

Hold up, now!

This is the proper response to such a statement. A wise pastor ought to slow down the train and help point out cheating is NOT a private sin.

Might it be possible the cheater’s greviances aren’t so much about their spouse but rather a rotten fruit of their infidelity?!

What I mean is a cheater might fixate on “the grass is greener on the other side of the fence” because they are comparing their marriage to a fantasy as opposed to reality. No one measures up to fantasy, though. This is why it is critical to slow the cheater down.

Plus, it is critical to stop them from further brutalizing their spouse who they just admitted wronging!

I think this needs to be said to the cheater. They need to understand cheating cannot be healed by individual therapy alone. The wrongs were done to their spouse, and those sins need to be addressed to them.

Cheating will continue as a viable option as long as the cheater continues to believe their cheating was caused by the relationship and they need not address their own sinful heart.