On (ex) In-Law Lectures I wonder how many of us endured lectures from (ex) in-laws who thought they knew how to “fix” things by assigning blame to us. Lack of humility did not skip a generation. Maybe they felt emboldened to tell us how we were not measuring up to being “a man?” Maybe they … Continue reading “On (ex) In-Law Lectures”
Category: Sin
Issues Applying “Failed Marriage” Label
“Failed Marriage” label implies agency lacking in divorces from Cheaters. Who failed at marriage was the Cheater, not the faithful spouse. This is why I particularly despise this label. It suggests equal responsibility for the ending of a marriage. “Failed Marriage” obscures the violence done to our marriages by our Cheater. It is “polite” way … Continue reading “Issues Applying “Failed Marriage” Label”
Holding Your Boundaries Is NOT Punishment!
Do not be deceived: God cannot be mocked. A man reaps what he sows. -Galatians 6:7, NIV Setting a boundary is NOT about setting a punishment for the other person. The boundary is there to healthfully preserve you from whatever threatens your well-being. It is not a punishment. Rather, the boundary is a step towards … Continue reading “Holding Your Boundaries Is NOT Punishment!”
Evil Ending
If a man is discovered committing adultery, both he and the woman must die. In this way, you will purge Israel of such evil. -Deuteronomy 22:22, NLT Cheaters sometimes choose adultery as a way to totally blow up their marriage on the way to abandon their spouse via the divorce discard. In my opinion, … Continue reading “Evil Ending”
Your decision, NOT your pastor’s.
But I say that a man who divorces his wife, unless she has been unfaithful, causes her to commit adultery. And anyone who marries a divorced woman also commits adultery. -Matthew 5:32, NLT Faithful spouse, you are free to choose divorce over staying in an abusive marriage with a cheater. This is what I see … Continue reading “Your decision, NOT your pastor’s.”
Permission to bash
“Rebuke your mother, rebuke her, for she is not my wife, and I am not her husband. Let her remove the adulterous look from her face and the unfaithfulness from between her breasts.” -Hosea 2:2, NIV Cheaters may admit to cheating only to get “permission” to bash and blame their partner. They are counting on the counselor, … Continue reading “Permission to bash”
Not “easy way out”
Or how can you say to your brother, ‘Let me remove the speck from your eye’; and look, a plank is in your own eye? -Matthew 7:4, NKJV A faithful spouse choosing to divorce a cheater is not taking the “easy way out!” It is disgusting that a follower of Christ would ever suggest such a thing. They … Continue reading “Not “easy way out””
Temptation to Accept Blame
For we must all appear before the judgment seat of Christ, so that each of us may receive what is due us for the things done while in the body, whether good or bad. -2 Corinthians 5:10, NIV I hate feeling powerless. Yet feeling this feeling is part of the journey of grief. We must feel … Continue reading “Temptation to Accept Blame”
So unseen!
14 “But suppose this son has a son who sees all the sins his father commits, and though he sees them, he does not do such things: 15 “He does not eat at the mountain shrines or look to the idols of Israel. He does not defile his neighbor’s wife. … He will not die for his father’s … Continue reading “So unseen!”
Yes, it is what it looks like…
Yes, it is what it looks like… and it is probably much worse. This is the reality of catching your Cheater. You might try to discount what your eyes are seeing. People around you might even discourage you from facing the ugly reality. Yes, they did cheat. Hidden texts and phone calls in the middle … Continue reading “Yes, it is what it looks like…”