If only half the energy used to condemn divorcees were redirected to condemn adultery….

Notice how some Christians feel completely free to share condemning opinions about divorce with faithful spouses but suddenly become silent regarding adultery with cheaters? It is so odd. The same people who wouldn’t DARE confront your cheater over her infidelity are the same crowd probing or condemning you for choosing divorce. They behave as if “Thou … Continue reading “If only half the energy used to condemn divorcees were redirected to condemn adultery….”

Not pure evil and that is why it hurts so much!

So God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him; male and female created he them. -Genesis 1:27, KJV Divorcing a cheater would not hurt as much if she was pure evil. That is my opinion. I am not saying what she did was anything less than evil. That is pure … Continue reading “Not pure evil and that is why it hurts so much!”

Next step? Shake off their dust!

 And whosoever will not receive you, when ye go out of that city, shake off the very dust from your feet for a testimony against them. -Luke 9:5, KJV Jesus gave us a ministry of reconciliation (see 2 Corinthians 5:18), yet Jesus told His Disciples to move on if this ministry was rejected! Cheaters reject godly reconciliation … Continue reading “Next step? Shake off their dust!”

Fact: Cheaters are the marriage flunkies!

“You shall not commit adultery.” -Exodus 20:14, NIV (from The Ten Commandments)   Fact: Cheaters are marriage flunkies. One of the most basic lessons in Christian marriage is adhering to this classic and consistent prohibition regarding sex with marriage outsiders. Cheaters have–spectacularly, in some cases–flunked this most basic of marriage lessons. Yet for some reason, … Continue reading “Fact: Cheaters are the marriage flunkies!”

Where are all those Christian “Adultery Prevention Marriage Seminars?”

Where are the “Adultery Prevention Marriage Seminars?” Sure, there are plenty of “affair-proofing” marriage seminars. But I am talking about the sort of seminars where pastors talk about adultery and taking personal responsibility for one’s own sins. Instead of talking about the horrors of divorce–like pretty much every pre-marital book I read does–why not talk … Continue reading “Where are all those Christian “Adultery Prevention Marriage Seminars?””

Certainly nobody’s first choice

Even when filing the divorce papers, the faithful spouse really did not choose this outcome. What they chose was a marriage free of infidelity! The filing of the papers was the choice they had left after the choice of the cheater to destroy the agreed upon future by being unfaithful. The good options–the preferred option–was … Continue reading “Certainly nobody’s first choice”

New Book Resource: UNFOLD

Dear Readers, Recently, I was contacted by a blog reader who wrote a book about her experience. I asked her to write up a little blurb about her book and promised to post it on my website. Below it a link to her book (just click on the book image) and the little blurb she … Continue reading “New Book Resource: UNFOLD”

Adultery is the main event, NOT a “regrettable footnote” to the marriage’s demise.

Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral. -Hebrews 13:4, NIV How can you miss it that bad?! How can someone read and understand the Bible yet treat adultery as a “regrettable footnote” to a marriage ending? It astounds me … Continue reading “Adultery is the main event, NOT a “regrettable footnote” to the marriage’s demise.”

Courageous Confrontation Gift

It isn’t my responsibility to judge outsiders, but it certainly is your responsibility to judge those inside the church who are sinning. -I Corinthians 5:12, NLT The path of least resistance with a cheater “friend” is to agree with their sob-story over how they “were driven” to cheat on their spouse. But that is NOT the … Continue reading “Courageous Confrontation Gift”

Unspoken.

Rejoice with them that do rejoice, and weep with them that weep. -Romans 12:15, KJV When divorce is condemned as a whole from the pulpit, this means all divorce is condemned. Left unspoken is the acknowledgement of those who find themselves divorced against their will and those divorced because they married an abusive, adulterous spouse. Because those … Continue reading “Unspoken.”