-When the blame-shifting starts… -When the pastor or counselor suggests you drove the cheater to it by doing… -When the cheater whines, “Why!” to the divorce… “It’s not me; it’s you.” Stop wasting your time on figuring out what you did to “deserve” this. You did not deserve it! Your action or inaction did … Continue reading “Yo, it’s not me. It’s you!”
Category: Theology of divorce
Wish I would be invited to teach seminary students on adultery and divorce
If I could write my own ticket, I would teach a seminary class on helping adultery victims and holding cheaters accountable. -Included in this class would be a primer on how divorce is not always sin as well as how divorce can be a mercy to victims of infidelity. Anger and ire ought to be … Continue reading “Wish I would be invited to teach seminary students on adultery and divorce”
Good is coming!
And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose. -Romans 8:28, KJV I know this verse is twisted against faithful spouses all too often. Well-meaning yet hurtful Christians quote this verse at the traumatized faithful spouse as a means … Continue reading “Good is coming!”
PSA: Please get your own divorce lawyer!
If you are expecting someone who majored in deception to play fair during a divorce, then you are dangerously naïve. Please, get your own divorce lawyer! Cheaters are notorious for trying to set the narrative and play by their own rules, which seem to change with their moods. A divorce lawyer will force cheaters to … Continue reading “PSA: Please get your own divorce lawyer!”
PSA: Divorce “jokes” by pastors are NOT funny!
Pastors, Please stop making divorce “jokes.” When faithful spouses hear pastors talking about how grateful they are that their wives haven’t left them, the pastor could not be more insensitive and tone deaf to those who have experienced abandonment. Such “joking” is teaching: -You are teaching your people divorce happens over everyday irritations in marriage. … Continue reading “PSA: Divorce “jokes” by pastors are NOT funny!”
When a cheater declines offer to rebuild marriage…
“Even if she cheated on me, I would still stay with her and try to make the marriage work,” says faithful spouse. “You’d just hold that over her head forever,” replies cheater apologist. When this is the mentality or response from the cheater side, you know the marriage is done. This sort of response exposes … Continue reading “When a cheater declines offer to rebuild marriage…”
Cheater refusal to repent not OKAY!
Therefore if you bring your gift to the altar, and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there before the altar, and go your way. First be reconciled to your brother, and then come and offer your gift. -Matthew 5:23-24, NKJV These two verse uttered by Jesus are why I doubt … Continue reading “Cheater refusal to repent not OKAY!”
Cheater-Speak: “We were married too young.”
“We just married too young. That’s why it didn’t work out.” -Cheater I just do not buy the “married too young” explanation for divorce. It is an excuse. This is a tidy lie to cover up for the cheater’s character deficits and to help people avoid feeling uncomfortable in facing the hard truth: The cheater … Continue reading “Cheater-Speak: “We were married too young.””
Jen Hatmaker, famous Christian author and leader, announces her divorce
The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit. -Psalm 34:18, NIV Keep a close watch on how you live and on your teaching. Stay true to what is right for the sake of your own salvation and the salvation of those who hear you. -I Timothy 4:16, NLT Jen Hatmaker is … Continue reading “Jen Hatmaker, famous Christian author and leader, announces her divorce”
Reconciliation means to friendships, NOT marriage necessarily!
And he has committed to us the message of reconciliation. – 2 Corinthians 5:19b, NIV Reconciled to friendship, NOT marriage! What often bothers me about Christians talking about marriages ravaged by adultery is how “reconciliation” is thrown about as the same thing as marriage restoration. It is not. A former couple could experience true reconciliation … Continue reading “Reconciliation means to friendships, NOT marriage necessarily!”