Give honor to marriage, and remain faithful to one another in marriage. God will surely judge people who are immoral and those who commit adultery. -Hebrews 13:4, NLT What if adultery was treated as the enemy more than divorce in our churches?! A truly astounding teaching–whether spoken or implied–is how Christians treat divorce as a … Continue reading “What if adultery was treated as the enemy more than divorce?!”
Category: Theology of divorce
Did not choose this!
Even when filing the divorce papers, the faithful spouse really did not choose this outcome. What they chose was a marriage free of infidelity! The filing of the papers was the choice they had left after the choice of the cheater to destroy the agreed upon future by being unfaithful. The good options–the preferred option–was … Continue reading “Did not choose this!”
Subtle Shaming of Divorced Families
“He is from a ‘broken family.’” -Church-goer I was pondering this label the other day: “broken family.” Notice this label is rarely–if ever–used in Christian circles to denote a family where one parent dies. It is the euphemism of choice to describe families that have experienced divorce. I maintain that if we hesitate to use … Continue reading “Subtle Shaming of Divorced Families”
Crossed the line sexually with another man
“I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another woman commits adultery.” -Matthew 19:9, NIV In my trial to keep my minister’s license, I will never forget how the leading denominational official behaved. I had submitted an email from my ex-wife where she confirmed a reference to … Continue reading “Crossed the line sexually with another man”
God Uses Broken and Weak People – Ask Paul!
But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” -2 Corinthians 12:9a, NIV The blogosphere has been ignited by Joe Carter’s “Beware of Broken Wolves” post at The Gospel Coalition website. I found the article disturbing. In particular, I was troubled when Carter wrote: But … Continue reading “God Uses Broken and Weak People – Ask Paul!”
Why put the adultery victim on trial for being victimized?
Why put the adultery victim on trial but not the cheater? One of the most backwards pieces in my ecclesiastical trial to retain my minister’s license was how I was on trial for being cheated on and divorced by my ex-wife. Even after such cheating and abandonment was established (my ex-wife was the one insisting … Continue reading “Why put the adultery victim on trial for being victimized?”
The Pastoral Affirmation Need
A bruised reed he will not break, and a smoldering wick he will not snuff out. -Isaiah 42:3a, NIV Divorce Minister exists to a great part because it speaks to a need I felt in my darkest days. The need for pastoral affirmation and support while going through infidelity discovery and divorce. When my marriage was … Continue reading “The Pastoral Affirmation Need”
On Divorcing an Addict
But if the unbeliever departs, let him depart; a brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases. But God has called us to peace. -I Corinthians 7:15, NKJV What ought a Christian do if he or she is married to someone with an opioid or meth addiction? ***IMPORTANT DISCLAIMER*** I am not … Continue reading “On Divorcing an Addict”
Mailbag: Repeated Emotional Affairs
Dear Divorce Minister, My husband has had emotional affairs during our marriage and has physically cheated once during the dating time while in a serious committed relationship (which was disclosed to the me 9 years into our marriage). While he says he’s never crossed the line physically during the marriage, there has been a series … Continue reading “Mailbag: Repeated Emotional Affairs”
When “good” is not an option
Let her remove the adulterous look from her face and the unfaithfulness from between her breasts. -Hosea 2:2b, NIV What drives me nuts about how some pastors speak of divorce is how they assume a “good” option is left on the table for a faithful spouse. Sadly, following infidelity this just isn’t the case! The faithful … Continue reading “When “good” is not an option”