Category: Theology of divorce

On treating cheating as incidental to the divorce…

“If a man commits adultery with his neighbor’s wife, both the man and the woman who have committed adultery must be put to death.” -Leviticus 20:10, NLT What astounds me with pastors and Christian marriage counselors who deal with marital infidelity situations is how too many treat cheating as incidental to a marriage ending in … Continue reading “On treating cheating as incidental to the divorce…”

Better Days Ahead!

The Lord blessed the latter days of Job more than his beginning…. -Job 42:12a, NASB So much is done within the Church to reinforce fears concerning divorce. Even a ministry I generally recommend for those divorcing a cheating spouse, DivorceCare, does this to some extent. They certainly do not encourage divorce–even when, I believe, that … Continue reading “Better Days Ahead!”

Love & Divorce

This is what the LORD says: “Where is your mother’s certificate of divorce with which I sent her away? …Because of your sins you were sold; because of your transgressions your mother was sent away. -Isaiah 50:1a,c, NIV Is divorcing a spouse incompatible with loving a spouse? In other words, do you have to hate … Continue reading “Love & Divorce”

Make Ambiguity the Cheater’s Enemy

“Let her remove the adulterous look from her face     and the unfaithfulness from between her breasts.” -Hosea 2:2b, NIV Ambiguity is a main reason faithful spouses remain longer than we should in doomed marriages. Cheaters thrive on ambiguity. This is the key idea behind why a cheater will confess to an emotional affair while continuing … Continue reading “Make Ambiguity the Cheater’s Enemy”

My Mistake: A Very Reasonable Expectation

…the LORD is the witness between you and the wife of your youth. You have been unfaithful to her, though she is your partner, the wife of your marriage covenant. -Malachi 2:14b, NIV I made many mistakes in my first marriage. Certainly, I made mistakes in its dissolution process as well. Hence, this blog exists. … Continue reading “My Mistake: A Very Reasonable Expectation”

Mailbag: Can he change?

Marjie wrote, I have been married for 26 years. 22 years ago I found out my husband was going to prostitutes, massage parlors ect. At the time we had 2 children in diapers. I was completely destroyed, but because of our kids I agreed to work it out. My husband isn’t an easy person, he … Continue reading “Mailbag: Can he change?”

The Arrogant, Long-Married Christian

Knowledge puffs up, but love edifies. And if anyone thinks that he knows anything, he knows nothing yet as he ought to know. -I Corinthians 8:1b-2, NKJV Just because a Christian has been married for a long time does not mean said Christian is equipped to properly advise a faithful spouse dealing with a cheater. … Continue reading “The Arrogant, Long-Married Christian”

Divorcing a Duggar?

Recent reports are suggesting that Anna Duggar has decided to divorce Josh Duggar. This is a couple who rose to fame through TLC’s reality TV program “19 Kids and Counting.” It was a show following Josh’s parents, Jim Bob and Michelle Duggar plus their growing tribe. It is emblematic of a very conservative–some might say Fundamentalist–form … Continue reading “Divorcing a Duggar?”

What if pastors had skin in the “game,” too?

What if pastors had to pay a faithful spouse $10,000 or more if they were wrong about the cheating being over?! In my opinion, faithful spouses who stay in marriages for subsequent infidelity discoveries are loosing more than just $10,000. They are loosing precious time, emotional well-being, and physical well-being (e.g. risk of contracting life-altering … Continue reading “What if pastors had skin in the “game,” too?”