Marjie wrote, I have been married for 26 years. 22 years ago I found out my husband was going to prostitutes, massage parlors ect. At the time we had 2 children in diapers. I was completely destroyed, but because of our kids I agreed to work it out. My husband isn’t an easy person, he … Continue reading “Mailbag: Can he change?”
Category: Theology of divorce
The Arrogant, Long-Married Christian
Knowledge puffs up, but love edifies. And if anyone thinks that he knows anything, he knows nothing yet as he ought to know. -I Corinthians 8:1b-2, NKJV Just because a Christian has been married for a long time does not mean said Christian is equipped to properly advise a faithful spouse dealing with a cheater. … Continue reading “The Arrogant, Long-Married Christian”
Divorcing a Duggar?
Recent reports are suggesting that Anna Duggar has decided to divorce Josh Duggar. This is a couple who rose to fame through TLC’s reality TV program “19 Kids and Counting.” It was a show following Josh’s parents, Jim Bob and Michelle Duggar plus their growing tribe. It is emblematic of a very conservative–some might say Fundamentalist–form … Continue reading “Divorcing a Duggar?”
What if pastors had skin in the “game,” too?
What if pastors had to pay a faithful spouse $10,000 or more if they were wrong about the cheating being over?! In my opinion, faithful spouses who stay in marriages for subsequent infidelity discoveries are loosing more than just $10,000. They are loosing precious time, emotional well-being, and physical well-being (e.g. risk of contracting life-altering … Continue reading “What if pastors had skin in the “game,” too?”
Why bother with divorce then?!
To the married I give this command (not I, but the Lord): A wife must not separate from her husband. But if she does, she must remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband. And a husband must not divorce his wife. … But if the unbeliever leaves, let it be so. The brother … Continue reading “Why bother with divorce then?!”
Don’t be their “play thing!”
So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you, for this sums up the Law and the Prophets. -Matthew 7:12, NIV One of the aspects of working with faithful spouses that disturbs me greatly is how their cheaters use them and essentially make them their “play things.” The cheater goes … Continue reading “Don’t be their “play thing!””
Fruit of God’s Remarriage
You will say then, “Branches were broken off so that I could be grafted in.” Granted. But they were broken off because of unbelief, and you stand by faith. Do not be arrogant, but tremble. For if God did not spare the natural branches, he will not spare you either. -Romans 11:19-21, NIV Often times, … Continue reading “Fruit of God’s Remarriage”
Faithful spouses, please do NOT “fight for your marriage.”
“‘If a man commits adultery with another man’s wife—with the wife of his neighbor—both the adulterer and the adulteress are to be put to death.” -Leviticus 20:10, NIV Please do NOT fight for your marriage, faithful spouses! Doing that simply perpetuates the wrong idea that a cheater is entitled to a marriage they have discarded … Continue reading “Faithful spouses, please do NOT “fight for your marriage.””
On Hearing God Amidst Infidelity Madness
For his Spirit joins with our spirit to affirm that we are God’s children. -Romans 8:16, NLT So, you have discovered that your spouse has been unfaithful. He (or she) cheated on you and hid the double life with copious lies for months and possibly years. Now, you must decide what you do with new information. What does … Continue reading “On Hearing God Amidst Infidelity Madness”
When the cheater doesn’t see the problem…
Hypocrite! First get rid of the log in your own eye; then you will see well enough to deal with the speck in your friend’s eye.* -Matthew 7:5, NIV If your cheater does not understand and affirm that the presence of the Other Man/Other Woman is a problem, then your marriage is doomed without any … Continue reading “When the cheater doesn’t see the problem…”