When a cheater plays for more time to decided whether or not to stop cheating, they have already decided. (And that is a decision against the marriage, by the way.) You do not owe them that time! In fact, giving them that time is reinforcing the belief that they are entitled to such time and … Continue reading “Time Is NOT Needed”
Category: Theology of divorce
Sermon: ‘Twas A Merry Mess!
Today, I decided to take my own advice and took the opportunity to fight divorce prejudice from the pulpit I serve. You see, I “just happened” to get Matthew 1:18-25 as one of my texts for my scheduled Sunday–i.e. Fourth Advent Sunday. So, I took the opportunity to fight divorce prejudice by pointing out that … Continue reading “Sermon: ‘Twas A Merry Mess!”
Christians As Easy Targets For Narcissists
This morning I woke up to an email from Chump Lady. She sent me an insightful comment made on her blog post “Quit Waiting for an Apology.“ Here is what Nyra, who left the comment, wrote: Christians are easy targets for narcissistic people to manipulate & gaslight: Christians are to forgive someone 70×70 times therefore… … Continue reading “Christians As Easy Targets For Narcissists”
No, polygamy is NOT a godly option!
An overseer, then, must be above reproach, the husband of one wife, temperate, prudent, respectable, hospitable, able to teach…. -I Timothy 3:2, NASB Some cheaters have absolutely no shame. They get caught and retroactively try to make it look like it was and is okay. Maybe they suggest an open marriage? Maybe they suggest a … Continue reading “No, polygamy is NOT a godly option!”
Mailbag: Lost Permission to Divorce Biblically?
Hello! I am SO grateful for your blog, as I am yet another infidelity victim being treated horribly by church leaders. The latest is that they’ve taken the position that I’ve lost my right to divorce my husband, for a variety of reasons. I “took too long” to decide (a year+…after a HORRIBLE case of … Continue reading “Mailbag: Lost Permission to Divorce Biblically?”
On treating cheating as incidental to the divorce…
“If a man commits adultery with his neighbor’s wife, both the man and the woman who have committed adultery must be put to death.” -Leviticus 20:10, NLT What astounds me with pastors and Christian marriage counselors who deal with marital infidelity situations is how too many treat cheating as incidental to a marriage ending in … Continue reading “On treating cheating as incidental to the divorce…”
Better Days Ahead!
The Lord blessed the latter days of Job more than his beginning…. -Job 42:12a, NASB So much is done within the Church to reinforce fears concerning divorce. Even a ministry I generally recommend for those divorcing a cheating spouse, DivorceCare, does this to some extent. They certainly do not encourage divorce–even when, I believe, that … Continue reading “Better Days Ahead!”
Love & Divorce
This is what the LORD says: “Where is your mother’s certificate of divorce with which I sent her away? …Because of your sins you were sold; because of your transgressions your mother was sent away. -Isaiah 50:1a,c, NIV Is divorcing a spouse incompatible with loving a spouse? In other words, do you have to hate … Continue reading “Love & Divorce”
Make Ambiguity the Cheater’s Enemy
“Let her remove the adulterous look from her face and the unfaithfulness from between her breasts.” -Hosea 2:2b, NIV Ambiguity is a main reason faithful spouses remain longer than we should in doomed marriages. Cheaters thrive on ambiguity. This is the key idea behind why a cheater will confess to an emotional affair while continuing … Continue reading “Make Ambiguity the Cheater’s Enemy”
My Mistake: A Very Reasonable Expectation
…the LORD is the witness between you and the wife of your youth. You have been unfaithful to her, though she is your partner, the wife of your marriage covenant. -Malachi 2:14b, NIV I made many mistakes in my first marriage. Certainly, I made mistakes in its dissolution process as well. Hence, this blog exists. … Continue reading “My Mistake: A Very Reasonable Expectation”