Category: Theology of divorce

Don’t be their “play thing!”

So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you, for this sums up the Law and the Prophets. -Matthew 7:12, NIV One of the aspects of working with faithful spouses that disturbs me greatly is how their cheaters use them and essentially make them their “play things.” The cheater goes … Continue reading “Don’t be their “play thing!””

Faithful spouses, please do NOT “fight for your marriage.”

“‘If a man commits adultery with another man’s wife—with the wife of his neighbor—both the adulterer and the adulteress are to be put to death.” -Leviticus 20:10, NIV Please do NOT fight for your marriage, faithful spouses!  Doing that simply perpetuates the wrong idea that a cheater is entitled to a marriage they have discarded … Continue reading “Faithful spouses, please do NOT “fight for your marriage.””

On Hearing God Amidst Infidelity Madness

For his Spirit joins with our spirit to affirm that we are God’s children. -Romans 8:16, NLT So, you have discovered that your spouse has been unfaithful. He (or she) cheated on you and hid the double life with copious lies for months and possibly years. Now, you must decide what you do with new information. What does … Continue reading “On Hearing God Amidst Infidelity Madness”

When the cheater doesn’t see the problem…

Hypocrite! First get rid of the log in your own eye; then you will see well enough to deal with the speck in your friend’s eye.* -Matthew 7:5, NIV If your cheater does not understand and affirm that the presence of the Other Man/Other Woman is a problem, then your marriage is doomed without any … Continue reading “When the cheater doesn’t see the problem…”

Don’t fall for this one!

“In those days people will no longer say, ‘The parents have eaten sour grapes,     and the children’s teeth are set on edge.’ Instead, everyone will die for their own sin; whoever eats sour grapes—their own teeth will be set on edge.” -Jeremiah 31:29-30, NIV I open with this passage to remind us of God’s idea … Continue reading “Don’t fall for this one!”

Mailbag: Is NOT divorcing my unrepentant cheater a sin?

“Not filing to divorce an unrepentant cheating spouse is also enabling but do you think it’s dishonoring Christ by not filing? Also, if that is the case (enabling and dishonoring Christ) wouldn’t not filing actually be a sin and against Gods will?” -Eric Eric, That’s a good set of questions. Let me boil them down to … Continue reading “Mailbag: Is NOT divorcing my unrepentant cheater a sin?”

On Using “Biblical” Counseling Only

As for these four children, God gave them knowledge and skill in all learning and wisdom: and Daniel had understanding in all visions and dreams. …And in all matters of wisdom and understanding, that the king inquired of them, he found them ten times better than all the magicians and astrologers that were in all … Continue reading “On Using “Biblical” Counseling Only”

At what point does a faithful spouse become an enabler?

And if it seem evil unto you to serve the LORD, choose you this day whom ye will serve; whether the gods which your fathers served that were on the other side of the flood, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land ye dwell: but as for me and my house, we will … Continue reading “At what point does a faithful spouse become an enabler?”

Pastors OUGHT to be the best professionals to address adultery!

Thou shalt not commit adultery. -from the Ten Commandments (e.g. Exodus 20:14, KJV) Committing adultery is a sin. In fact, one cannot commit adultery without sinning in other ways including coveting, lying, stealing, and idolatry–i.e. worshiping something or someone as more important than God. A pastor ought to be the professional best equipped to understand and … Continue reading “Pastors OUGHT to be the best professionals to address adultery!”