Woe to those who are wise in their own eyes, And prudent in their own sight! -Isaiah 5:21, NKJV The practice of some pastors is to treat adultery on the same level as failure to do one’s share of the household chores: They are not the same! Faithful spouses are already primed to take on more responsibility … Continue reading “Religious-y “Both Sides” Advice”
Author: Divorce Minister
Fruit, Not Professions!
“15 Beware of false prophets, which come to you in sheep’s clothing, but inwardly they are ravening wolves. 16 Ye shall know them by th eir fruits. Do men gather grapes of thorns, or figs of thistles? 17 Even so every good tree bringeth forth good fruit; but a corrupt tree bringeth forth evil fruit.” -Jesus in Matthew … Continue reading “Fruit, Not Professions!”
Ministry of Reconciliation?
All this is from God, who reconciled us to himself through Christ and gave us the ministry of reconciliation…. – 2 Corinthians 5:18, NIV Do we not all have the ministry of reconciliation as followers of Christ? Does that include reconciling with Cheaters? The obvious answer to the first question is “Yes, we are called … Continue reading “Ministry of Reconciliation?”
Fighting Back With Prayer
The fear of man bringeth a snare: but whoso putteth his trust in the LORD shall be safe. -Proverbs 29:25, KJV Evicting the voices and judgments of others in our heads is a hard thing to do. This is doubly so when the person who spoke destructive things about us was someone whom we … Continue reading “Fighting Back With Prayer”
Predictably Incomplete
With his wife’s full knowledge he kept back part of the money for himself, but brought the rest and put it at the apostles’ feet. -Acts 5:2, NIV Cheaters predictably provide incomplete confessions. This is a major reason why it is so had for faithful spouses to heal as they are working with deliberately withheld information. … Continue reading “Predictably Incomplete”
Dreams Die So Others May Rise
And all his sons and all his daughters rose up to comfort him; but he refused to be comforted; and he said, “For I will go down into the grave unto my son mourning. Thus his father wept for him [Joseph].” -Genesis 37:35, KJV Giving up the dreams regarding your marriage are tough. I had … Continue reading “Dreams Die So Others May Rise”
Not Punishment or Piling On
2 Now the overseer is to be above reproach, faithful to his wife, temperate, self-controlled, respectable, hospitable, able to teach, 3 not given to drunkenness, not violent but gentle, not quarrelsome, not a lover of money. -I Timothy 3:2-3, NIV When a secular teacher violates trust and is convicted of abusing a minor, they are FOREVER banned from a teaching license. This secular requirement … Continue reading “Not Punishment or Piling On”
Unpunishable or unsafe? Bethel and Ben Armstrong Case
Bethel Church of Redding, California is currently embroiled in a leadership scandal. Once their poster child for a restored leader following moral failure, Ben Armstrong (BA), is back in the spotlight for alleged lies and Clergy Sexual Abuse allegations. To Bethel Church’s credit, they have put Ben Armstrong on administrative leave as they investigate these … Continue reading “Unpunishable or unsafe? Bethel and Ben Armstrong Case”
Valentine’s Day Mess
Happy Valentine’s Day to those who celebrate! This is one holiday that is tricky for faithful spouses. It is one that can be ruined by cheaters and their cruelty. Don’t let them. Remember: Love is not the enemy! It does exist and is more than lust. Love exists that carries people through difficult times. I … Continue reading “Valentine’s Day Mess”
Reality Validation. A Sane Voice.
Reality validation. This is gift others can give to a faithful spouse. Sometimes we need someone to tell us the simple but hard truth. The adultery happened. And–no–we are in no way responsible for the infidelity. It was wrong. No justification for the cheater cheating exists. I think these messages are especially important for the … Continue reading “Reality Validation. A Sane Voice.”