Author: Divorce Minister

Bigger than just “squeaky floors”

Cheater apologists are quick to point at the flaws in the marriage and blame the faithful spouse “for their part.” This is foolishness parading as wisdom. Sometimes metaphors help us understand how foolish some things actually are: The marriage is a house. This house has needed updates. For example, it needs new windows, a fresh … Continue reading “Bigger than just “squeaky floors””

How did you get that information?

“How did you get that information?” asks Cheater. A Cheater who responds this way is a Cheater still committed to her sins. She is not repentant. This is a question about how she got exposed. It is about Cheater damage control. There’s a leak! The problem isn’t her behavior. For her, the problem is you knowing about … Continue reading “How did you get that information?”

Cheater-Speak: “He’s a friend.”

Faithful Spouse: Who is he then? Cheater: A friend. Can’t I have friends? This is a common cheater ploy. They attempt to minimize the nature of their relationship with the affair partner. He (or she) is presented as “a friend.” Then they might go on the offensive accusing the faithful spouse of attempting to cut … Continue reading “Cheater-Speak: “He’s a friend.””

Turning from “wicked ways” is a godly precondition

  If my people, which are called by my name, shall humble themselves, and pray, and seek my face, and turn from their wicked ways; then will I hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin, and will heal their land. -2 Chronicles 7:15, KJV (emphasis mine) God does not peddle in cheap grace. He … Continue reading “Turning from “wicked ways” is a godly precondition”

Not seeing the problem is a problem!

“This is the way of an adulterous woman:     She eats and wipes her mouth     and says, ‘I’ve done nothing wrong.’” -Proverbs 30:20, NIV The “Not a Problem” Problem Some cheaters are so far gone that they genuinely see no problem in cheating. They have believed the lies “justifying” their wicked sins. This is a problem. … Continue reading “Not seeing the problem is a problem!”

Emotional Affair? When does it cross the line?

An emotional affair? How can you tell? When does it cross the line? Cheaters are infamous for admitting to an emotional affair before or instead of a physical affair. Because pastors and others are poor at holding them accountable for their own actions, this opens the door for them to blame–essentially–the faithful spouse for such … Continue reading “Emotional Affair? When does it cross the line?”

God loves justice!

8 “For I, the Lord, love justice;     I hate robbery and wrongdoing. In my faithfulness I will reward my people     and make an everlasting covenant with them.” -Isaiah 61:8, NIV This verse comes just a few verses in the same chapter of Isaiah quoted by Jesus in Luke 4. I think that is significant. God still loves … Continue reading “God loves justice!”

Injustice cries out to God!

The Lord said, “What have you done? Listen! Your brother’s blood cries out to me from the ground.” -Genesis 4:10, NIV From the beginning, God has cared about the victimized. He cares about justice as He is just! A real struggle in marriage infidelity situations is being seen and not blamed. The injustice of the situation … Continue reading “Injustice cries out to God!”