27 “You have heard the commandment that says, ‘You must not commit adultery.’ 28 But I say, anyone who even looks at a woman with lust has already committed adultery with her in his heart. -Matthew 5:27-28, NLT Cheating emotionally does not give the unfaithful spouse permission to bash their partner with their pastor. Emotional cheating is sin. … Continue reading “Cheating Emotionally”
Author: Divorce Minister
Comforting words for faithful spouses
Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral. -Hebrews 13:4, NIV “Yes, it happened. She cheated on you. And that’s right: you didn’t deserve it. It’s not your fault. Not at all.” You really want to help a faithful spouse? … Continue reading “Comforting words for faithful spouses”
Forgiveness: Do I trust God?
From his temple he heard my voice; my cry came before him, into his ears. The earth trembled and quaked, and the foundations of the mountains shook; they trembled because he was angry. -Psalm 18:6b-7, NIV Can I trust God with my hurt? I think the answer to this question is answering the question of whether or … Continue reading “Forgiveness: Do I trust God?”
Cheater-Speak: “I had unmet emotional needs.”
“You were all so busy with the kids. I felt neglected.” -Cheater “I never would have cheated if you had given me the attention he did!” -Cheater Thou shalt not commit adultery. -Exodus 20:14, KJV Your cheater may try to “justify” their sin to you. Maybe they will point to you spending too much time … Continue reading “Cheater-Speak: “I had unmet emotional needs.””
Wanting “understanding” is a trap!
16 But the Lord God warned him, “You may freely eat the fruit of every tree in the garden— 17 except the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. If you eat its fruit, you are sure to die.” -Genesis 2:16-17, NLT Wanting “understanding” is a trap! Obtaining some knowledge is too costly. That is a lesson that can … Continue reading “Wanting “understanding” is a trap!”
Not so complicated!
For the word of God is alive and powerful. It is sharper than the sharpest two-edged sword, cutting between soul and spirit, between joint and marrow. It exposes our innermost thoughts and desires. -Hebrews 4:12, NLT Thou shalt not commit adultery. -Exodus 20:14, KJV Christians over complicate situations when adultery has happened. The commandment is … Continue reading “Not so complicated!”
Scary divorce.
For the love of money is the root of all evil: which while some coveted after, they have erred from the faith, and pierced themselves through with many sorrows. -I Timothy 6:10, KJV A popular Christian curriculum for people going through divorce would regularly try to dissuade people from divorcing by pointing out the financial … Continue reading “Scary divorce.”
Hate YOUR narrative
All who do evil hate the light and refuse to go near it for fear their sins will be exposed. -John 3:20, NLT Cheaters hate YOUR narrative–aka reality. The last thing they want is to lose control of the narrative. They do not want to look bad even though they did some very bad things. … Continue reading “Hate YOUR narrative”
“I just need a break from our marriage.”
“I’m tired of pretending. I just need a break from our marriage,” says Cheater. “So, you want to pretend you aren’t married when you are? That’s not how our marriage vows work,” replies faithful spouse. Cheaters might ask for “a break” as if your marriage is just an extended period of dating. Such statements reinforce … Continue reading ““I just need a break from our marriage.””
Do not go on the ride
To heal, we have to acknowledge the truth. The sad thing is our cheater may never actually do this. They might engage you in an endless battle over getting you to take responsibility for their abuse of you. That argument is one crazy ride. Refuse to take the bait. While helpful, you do not have … Continue reading “Do not go on the ride”