If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. -Romans 12:18, NIV Notice what this verse does and does NOT say: 1. It does NOT say–or set the expectation–that we are friends with everyone. 2. It DOES say–i.e. acknowledges–that peace with some people is impossible. These are very important … Continue reading “The goal is peace, NOT friendship!”
Author: Divorce Minister
Annoying advice about “owning your part” to avoid “bitterness”
The soul that sinneth, it shall die. The son shall not bear the iniquity of the father, neither shall the father bear the iniquity of the son: the righteousness of the righteous shall be upon him, and the wickedness of the wicked shall be upon him. -Ezekiel 18:20, KJV Some Christians think talking about “your … Continue reading “Annoying advice about “owning your part” to avoid “bitterness””
I CAN pray for their spiritual wellness.
Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse. -Romans 12:14, NIV Pray for your abuser? Pray for your cheater? This is common advice given in Christian circles. I am not completely sure that it is good advice. That is just my opinion. I find the verse above has a context of speaking about … Continue reading “I CAN pray for their spiritual wellness.”
Financial Stability
Owe nothing to anyone—except for your obligation to love one another. -Romans 13:8a, NLT When dealing with divorce, you are dealing with a financially devastating situation. It is painful. Maybe you set aside your career for this person? Maybe you are relying on them as you try to find your next job? Maybe you … Continue reading “Financial Stability”
On advice not to divorce because marriage is “about holiness”
25 Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it; 26 That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word,27 That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be … Continue reading “On advice not to divorce because marriage is “about holiness””
Better days ahead!
The Lord blessed the latter days of Job more than his beginning…. -Job 42:12a, NASB So much is done within the Church to reinforce fears concerning divorce. Even a ministry I generally recommend for those divorcing a cheating spouse, DivorceCare, does this to some extent. They certainly do not encourage divorce–even when, I believe, that … Continue reading “Better days ahead!”
Anyone labelled as the problem in the marriage by the counselor?
Anyone else here given a label by a counselor identifying YOU as the marriage problem? This assumes the cheater comes to counseling. Some don’t. A problem with counselors is that some are not up on the games cheaters play. They become complicit in the act of keeping the faithful spouse off the scent of what … Continue reading “Anyone labelled as the problem in the marriage by the counselor?”
To the mountains, again
I will lift up mine eyes unto the hills, from whence cometh my help. My help cometh from the Lord, which made heaven and earth. -Psalm 121:1-2, KJV Last time I was in Colorado, I was still married to my now (ex) wife. The times have certainly changed. This time I am here for my awesome … Continue reading “To the mountains, again”
An encouraging Crowder song
“Come As You Are” by Crowder is a song that I have recently (re?)discovered and grown to appreciate. The song was first released in 2014. It has rich, soothing lyrics. I hope as you click on the YouTube video above and watch the lyrics that you will find yourself encouraged and blessed by this beautiful … Continue reading “An encouraging Crowder song”
Is that love? No. It is not.
20 If someone says, “I love God,” but hates a fellow believer,that person is a liar; for if we don’t love people we can see, how can we love God, whom we cannot see? -I John 4:20, NLT Is this love? Lying to, abusing, stealing, and otherwise risking the well-being of another. Of course, not. This … Continue reading “Is that love? No. It is not.”