One of the many difficulties of dealing with a cheater is how they induce panic and anxiety in us.
I can remember feeling such panic and anxiety during each interaction with my cheater. Maybe it is just me?! But I doubt it.
This fear and panic comes from all the nasty surprises one gets in the whole ordeal. You never know when another one will drop. It is very unnerving.
I share this as way to explain to outsiders why a faithful spouse might seem “on edge.” This is normal in these circumstances. Their well-being, on many levels, is under assault.
It is normal to have anxiety when you know there is a threat. The problem with cheaters is how that threat is coming out at faithful spouses from the darkness. We don’t know when we will be “hit” again with some blindsiding “news.”
That is the nature of this beast.
That said, I want to tell those new ones here that it DOES GET BETTER! I am years removed and do not have these sort of anxieties anymore. (It helps that my cheater is no longer in my life.)
Oh no! Not just you. I remember the special weirdness of panic attacks where you feel like you can’t breathe. I don’t have them anymore because the volcano is mostly dormant now, and the ash cloud of what was once our marriage finally dissipated enough where relatively normal breathing was possible. But, I do watch and listen intently for signs of new activity.