Author: Divorce Minister

Mine! Mine! Mine! Cheater Toddler Mindset.

“‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.’ So they are no longer two, but one flesh.” -Mark 10:7-8, NIV “Mine!” A Toddler’s Mindset In Marriage One of  the oddest dynamics that I have seen over and again while dealing with … Continue reading “Mine! Mine! Mine! Cheater Toddler Mindset.”

Stop blaming yourself, faithful spouse!

“For from within, out of a person’s heart, come evil thoughts, sexual immorality, theft, murder, adultery….” -Mark 7:21-22a, NLT When infidelity and abandonment via divorce occur, the faithful spouse may struggle with blaming themselves. I know I did. It is part of the grief process. We are trying to control the uncontrollable. That means we take … Continue reading “Stop blaming yourself, faithful spouse!”

Subtle blame in churches

The one who sins is the one who will die. The child will not share the guilt of the parent, nor will the parent share the guilt of the child.  Ezekiel 18:20a, NIV Sometimes church leaders subtly blame faithful spouses for a divorce from a cheater.  I say that it is subtle because it almost … Continue reading “Subtle blame in churches”

Cheater-Speak: “It is not the cheating. The real problem is how you….”

“It is not the cheating. The real issue is how you … (let yourself go, never talk with me, don’t bring in enough money, etc.)” -Cheater Cheaters want to talk about anything except their lies and infidelity. That would mean taking responsibility for their sins. It would be honest. And we know cheaters struggle with … Continue reading “Cheater-Speak: “It is not the cheating. The real problem is how you….””

Shaking off the dust as “forgiveness”

“But if any place refuses to welcome you or listen to you, shake its dust from your feet as you leave to show that you have abandoned those people to their fate.” -Mark 6:11, NLT At some point, we need to let go of the need for an apology and reparations for the wrongs we … Continue reading “Shaking off the dust as “forgiveness””

Celebratory Couple Divorcing?!

I don’t get it. You know. The couples that pose for a happy picture following their divorce with the decree in their hands. It is weird. What is even weirder is how society celebrates these (former) couples’ display of celebration. Odd. Divorce from a cheater is a mercy. It is a way to escape the … Continue reading “Celebratory Couple Divorcing?!”

Millennials and Divorce Prejudice

The other day I read an article that asserted divorce prejudice is no longer a thing for the Millennial generation. This comes along with the statistics that Millennials are keeping the divorce rates down compared to Boomers. I don’t know if I agree. This might be true for Millennials outside the evangelical church world. However, … Continue reading “Millennials and Divorce Prejudice”

Good news and bad news re: friends

A friend is always loyal, and a brother is born to help in time of need. -Proverbs 17:17, NLT Good news and bad news about friends during times of marital distress: First, I will share the bad news: Some of the most painful betrayals will be friends and even family choosing the cheater over you. … Continue reading “Good news and bad news re: friends”

Meaninglessness of wicked prospering

There is something else meaningless that occurs on earth: the righteous who get what the wicked deserve, and the wicked who get what the righteous deserve. This too, I say, is meaningless. -Ecclesiastes 8:14, NIV Life is not fair. This has been know for centuries as this verse from the writer of Ecclesiastes attests. Energy … Continue reading “Meaninglessness of wicked prospering”