Hi Pastor Dave (DM): I think I am doing the right thing in allowing or agreeing to my divorce. I have your book and have started reading through it. Maybe you touch on it later. So far the book is focusing mainly on affairs where there has been physical contact/adultery. Here is my situation: In … Continue reading “Dear DM, Is divorce okay in my situation?”
Author: Divorce Minister
Justice and forgiveness
Trusting God with our hurts is hard. Forgiveness is about doing just that, though. It is allowing God be God in our situation. But forgiving our cheater is nearly impossible if we believe we care more about justice than God. Justice matters to God. He did not just give sin a pass. It isn’t … Continue reading “Justice and forgiveness”
Cheater-Speak: What’s wrong with having friends?!
“Beware of false prophets who come disguised as harmless sheep but are really vicious wolves.” -Matthew 7:15, NLT “Aren’t I allowed to have ‘friends?!’” -Cheater I think this is one of the most dangerous tools at the disposal of cheaters. It effectively puts the faithful spouse on the defensive as he or she tries … Continue reading “Cheater-Speak: What’s wrong with having friends?!”
Forgiveness does not erase natural consequences!
13 Then David said to Nathan, “I have sinned against the Lord.” Nathan replied, “The Lord has taken away your sin. You are not going to die. 14 But because by doing this you have shown utter contempt for the Lord, the son born to you will die.” -2 Samuel 12:13-14, NIV God forgave David for murder and adultery. It says so here. However, God … Continue reading “Forgiveness does not erase natural consequences!”
Dating again? Pro-tip: Find a bad liar.
Dating again? My recommendation is to find someone who is not very good at lying. Put in more positive framing: Find a transparent and honest person. My ex-wife was very good at lying. I suspect many can relate to this statement who come here as well. Was your cheater an accomplished liar, too? Some cheaters … Continue reading “Dating again? Pro-tip: Find a bad liar.”
Treat as an unbeliever…
“If the person still refuses to listen, take your case to the church. Then if he or she won’t accept the church’s decision, treat that person as a pagan or a corrupt tax collector.” -Matthew 18:17, NLT ~~~ But if the unbelieving depart, let him depart. A brother or a sister is not under bondage … Continue reading “Treat as an unbeliever…”
Fruit Check
“15 Beware of false prophets, which come to you in sheep’s clothing, but inwardly they are ravening wolves. 16 Ye shall know them by their fruits. Do men gather grapes of thorns, or figs of thistles? 17 Even so every good tree bringeth forth good fruit; but a corrupt tree bringeth forth evil fruit.” -Jesus in Matthew 7:15-17, … Continue reading “Fruit Check”
Dear Divorce Minister, How do I silence that toxic voice in my head?
Hi there, While I am nowhere near ready to begin dating again, I have been meeting new people and making new friends and I occasionally run into women who I find interesting or attractive in one way or another who I sorta mentally file away for later, when I feel ready. Unfortunately, a lot of … Continue reading “Dear Divorce Minister, How do I silence that toxic voice in my head?”
Peace with the Lord
The fear of man bringeth a snare: but whoso putteth his trust in the LORD shall be safe. -Proverbs 29:25, KJV Evicting the voices and judgments of others in our heads is a hard thing to do. This is doubly so when the person who spoke destructive things about us was someone whom we … Continue reading “Peace with the Lord”
Hostage to Acknowledgement?
Are you waiting on an acknowledgment of wrongdoing by your cheater? I have some good and bad news on that front… First, I will share the bad news: You may never get an acknowledgment (and a full confession) of wrongdoing from your cheater. Some people are so disordered, cowardly, and/or wicked to do so. Waiting … Continue reading “Hostage to Acknowledgement?”