“I talked through my issues around the affair with my therapist. We’re good now,” says Cheater. He answered, “Anyone who divorces his wife and marries another woman commits adultery against her.“ -Mark 10:11, NIV An affair is a violation of the marriage vow to “forsake all others.” The cheater has sinned against their spouse–whether physically or … Continue reading “Cheater: “I sorted the issues around my affair with my therapist. We’re good.””
Author: Divorce Minister
God’s word is solid.
Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral. -Hebrews 13:4, NIV “They’re getting away with it!” says Faithful Spouse. I get this feeling. Sometimes, it feels like your Cheater does not miss a beat discarding you on their way to an … Continue reading “God’s word is solid.”
Commanded to side with the abused
Look on victims of abuse as if what happened to them had happened to you. -Hebrews 13:4b, MSG Adultery is abuse. The Bible is clear that when we have sex with another that we become one with them. That means affair partners are becoming one with the faithful spouse as well. It is a deep, … Continue reading “Commanded to side with the abused”
Not all worth considering
In the multitude of words sin is not lacking, But he who restrains his lips is wise. -Proverbs 10:19, NKJV I struggle or struggled with allowing too many people to have a say in my life. Some people feel entitled to tell you what to do or not to do. They then criticize your every decision and … Continue reading “Not all worth considering”
Never about other spouse
Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral. -Hebrews 13:4, NIV The affair is never about the other spouse. I know this is a controversial thing to write. But it is true from a pastor’s perspective. We know this truth from … Continue reading “Never about other spouse”
Control Temptation
23 Search me, O God, and know my heart: try me, and know my thoughts: 24 And see if there be any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting. -Psalm 139:23-24, KJV A natural temptation is to focus on controlling or directing the Cheater’s behavior. Please do your best to resist this temptation! … Continue reading “Control Temptation”
Too much hating of divorce…
Too much hating of divorce is taught in church and not enough hating of adultery! I used to be of the camp that would say I hate divorce, too. These days I find that saying unhelpful. It perpetuates a poor translation of Malachi 2:16, which actually does not have God hating divorce. All of this … Continue reading “Too much hating of divorce…”
God hates sin, not divorce!
I have seen your adulteries, And your lustful neighings, The lewdness of your harlotry, Your abominations on the hills in the fields. Woe to you, O Jerusalem! Will you still not be made clean?” -Jeremiah 13:27, NKJV God Hates Adultery More Than He Hates Divorce. This is my response to Christian counselors and pastors who … Continue reading “God hates sin, not divorce!”
Scrambling Cheater: How’d you find out?
“How’d you find out?” asks incredulous, busted Cheater. When a Cheater gets busted and their first impulse is to learn how you discovered them, you know that cheater is the opposite of repentant. Notice this question isn’t a denial of the behavior. Asking it is a confirmation of sorts. The arrogant Cheater is flabbergasted that … Continue reading “Scrambling Cheater: How’d you find out?”
Red Flag: She wants you to fight over her.
Guard your heart above all else, for it determines the course of your life. -Proverbs 4:23, NLT Red Flag: Your wife wants you to fight over her with another dude pursuing her. When your wife is asking you to beat out another man in competition for her heart, you know she is deep in an … Continue reading “Red Flag: She wants you to fight over her.”