The lips of the wise give good advice; the heart of a fool has none to give. -Proverbs 15:7, NLT When I was desperate to stop my first marriage from ending, I made the mistake of opening myself up to too many people. It was messy. I think part of this mistake was born of … Continue reading “Messy openness”
Author: Divorce Minister
Lectures from spiritually blind Cheater Apologists
“But you have turned from the way and by your teaching have caused many to stumble; you have violated the covenant with Levi,” says the Lord Almighty. -Malachi 2:8, NIV More than one of my (now) ex-wife’s family members took it upon themselves to lecture me about how I needed to be a better Christian and … Continue reading “Lectures from spiritually blind Cheater Apologists”
God’s opinion matters most!
Fear of man will prove to be a snare, but whoever trusts in the Lord is kept safe. -Proverbs 29:25, NIV If God is for us,who can be against us? -Romans 8:31b, NIV Trust God, Fear NOT “Man!” My anxiety often escalates when I start concerning myself with the opinions of “man” over what I know is God’s verdict … Continue reading “God’s opinion matters most!”
Singing through the desert experience
His wife said to him, “Are you still maintaining your integrity? Curse God and die!” -Job 2:9, NIV These words were uttered by a woman who had just suffered catastrophic loss with her husband, Job. They had loss their considerable wealth, servants, their children, and even Job’s own health. It was bleak. When faced with great … Continue reading “Singing through the desert experience”
Without faith….
And it is impossible to please God without faith. Anyone who wants to come to him must believe that God exists and that he rewards those who sincerely seek him. -Hebrews 11:6, NLT When I teach on faith, I make the point that faith requires believing when we do not see. If we saw and … Continue reading “Without faith….”
Emotional Affair sign
“Since they are no longer two but one, let no one split apart what God has joined together.” -Matthew 19:6, NLT When your wife is more concerned about the opinion of her male “friend” than she is of her husband, you can be assured she has crossed over to an emotional affair, minimally. This is … Continue reading “Emotional Affair sign”
Cheater Apologist: “We are all sinners, after all.”
“We are all sinners, after all.” -Cheater Apologist This lame religious excuse may be heard coming from the adulterous spouse and/or other Christian “apologists” seeking “neutral” ground in this situation. While it sounds wise and caring, it is really an extremely poor application of Biblical truth to the situation. It is an example of something … Continue reading “Cheater Apologist: “We are all sinners, after all.””
Professing Christian Cheaters
21 “Not everyone who calls out to me, ‘Lord! Lord!’ will enter the Kingdom of Heaven. Only those who actually do the will of my Father in heaven will enter. 22 On judgment day many will say to me, ‘Lord! Lord! We prophesied in your name and cast out demons in your name and performed many miracles in … Continue reading “Professing Christian Cheaters”
Divorce as Morally Injurous Event
While doing my year-long residency as a chaplain at a Veterans’ Affairs Medical Center, I gained education on a relatively new area of research for professional chaplains and psychologists. Most people today are familiar with the acronym PTSD (Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder), but I would be surprised if many are aware of this accompanying concept–i.e. moral injury. Please … Continue reading “Divorce as Morally Injurous Event”
Worse than we suspected
One thing too many pastors get wrong about faithful spouses is how we are just “looking for a way out” when we divorce our cheater. That is NOT what is happening! There are far less painful ways to end a marriage than through infidelity discovery. Trust me. The reality is we–faithful spouses–probably undersold the mess. … Continue reading “Worse than we suspected”