“But if you fail to do this, you will be sinning against the Lord; and you may be sure that your sin will find you out.” -Numbers 32:23, NIV A slip. An admission is made. The veil of lies is lifted for a brief moment of truth-telling. Then it is back to the old games of … Continue reading “Slipping up”
Cheater Still Blaming Spouse
“Sure, I cheated in the past. But I sorted that with my individual therapist. We agreed my emotional affair was really just a symptom of my marriage problems,” says Cheater. So much of the pastoral or other Christian counseling is biased towards “saving” the marriage. This bias can lead to the pastor glossing over a … Continue reading “Cheater Still Blaming Spouse”
A Powerful Quote About Trauma
This past week I was blessed to spend time up at a cabin in Northern Minnesota. It was a wonderful time of memory making and relaxation with family. When I was driving back home yesterday, I was listening to an audio book. In particular, I am going through When Narcissism Comes to Church: Healing Your … Continue reading “A Powerful Quote About Trauma”
Expectations: Model Christian Divorcee
“’I am innocent, but it makes no difference to me— I despise my life. Innocent or wicked, it is all the same to God. That’s why I say, ‘He destroys both the blameless and the wicked.’” -Job 9:21-22, NLT Ever noticed the pressure among Christians to talk about “our part” when our marriages end in divorce–even … Continue reading “Expectations: Model Christian Divorcee”
Contentment Secret
I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. -Philippians 4:12b, NIV When I am tempted to spiral into resentment (or start going there), I am reminded of an important spiritual secret: Gratitude is a great antidote to resentment. … Continue reading “Contentment Secret”
Eternal Life Question
25 On one occasion an expert in the law stood up to test Jesus. “Teacher,” he asked, “what must I do to inherit eternal life? 26 “What is written in the Law?” he replied. “How do you read it?” 27 He answered, “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your … Continue reading “Eternal Life Question”
Prideful Cheaters
As the Scriptures say, “God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.” -James 4:6b, NLT The spiritually fatal flaw of Cheaters is their pride. They behave as if they know better than everyone, including God. Such individuals are beyond hope until they are humbled. Humility is essential for godliness. A Cheater bereft of … Continue reading “Prideful Cheaters”
The Discard Narrative
The Discard Narrative Cheaters are adept at crafting narratives to suit their nefarious purposes. They tell others and themselves all sort of wicked things about their faithful spouse while trying to keep their mark–i.e. the faithful spouse–off the scent of their infidelities. When faced with counterfactual information, they will dismiss those facts about their faithful … Continue reading “The Discard Narrative”
11 Years of Divorce Minister Blog!
Today is the blog’s “birthday.” It’s hard to believe how fast time has flown! I launched this online ministry eleven years ago today with the hope to address a gap in resources for faithful spouses. What I experienced when I went through my own divorce from my Cheater was the absence of solid pastoral resources … Continue reading “11 Years of Divorce Minister Blog!”
Precious Life
I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: marvellous are thy works; and that my soul knoweth right well. -Psalm 139:14, KJV Life is precious.* What we do with ours matters. Recently, this truth has been driven home to me both in my private and in my professional life as I encounter people … Continue reading “Precious Life”