“It is not the cheating. The real issue is how you … (let yourself go, never talk with me, don’t bring in enough money, etc.)” -Cheater Cheaters want to talk about anything except their lies and infidelity. That would mean taking responsibility for their sins. It would be honest. And we know cheaters struggle with … Continue reading “Cheater-Speak: “It is not the cheating. The real problem is how you….””
Shaking off the dust as “forgiveness”
“But if any place refuses to welcome you or listen to you, shake its dust from your feet as you leave to show that you have abandoned those people to their fate.” -Mark 6:11, NLT At some point, we need to let go of the need for an apology and reparations for the wrongs we … Continue reading “Shaking off the dust as “forgiveness””
Celebratory Couple Divorcing?!
I don’t get it. You know. The couples that pose for a happy picture following their divorce with the decree in their hands. It is weird. What is even weirder is how society celebrates these (former) couples’ display of celebration. Odd. Divorce from a cheater is a mercy. It is a way to escape the … Continue reading “Celebratory Couple Divorcing?!”
Millennials and Divorce Prejudice
The other day I read an article that asserted divorce prejudice is no longer a thing for the Millennial generation. This comes along with the statistics that Millennials are keeping the divorce rates down compared to Boomers. I don’t know if I agree. This might be true for Millennials outside the evangelical church world. However, … Continue reading “Millennials and Divorce Prejudice”
Good news and bad news re: friends
A friend is always loyal, and a brother is born to help in time of need. -Proverbs 17:17, NLT Good news and bad news about friends during times of marital distress: First, I will share the bad news: Some of the most painful betrayals will be friends and even family choosing the cheater over you. … Continue reading “Good news and bad news re: friends”
Meaninglessness of wicked prospering
There is something else meaningless that occurs on earth: the righteous who get what the wicked deserve, and the wicked who get what the righteous deserve. This too, I say, is meaningless. -Ecclesiastes 8:14, NIV Life is not fair. This has been know for centuries as this verse from the writer of Ecclesiastes attests. Energy … Continue reading “Meaninglessness of wicked prospering”
It happened. It was wrong.
Reality validation. This is gift others can give to a faithful spouse. Sometimes we need someone to tell us the simple but hard truth. The adultery happened. And–no–we are in no way responsible for the infidelity. It was wrong. No justification for the cheater cheating exists. I think these messages are especially important for the … Continue reading “It happened. It was wrong.”
Make a song your prayer
The Lord is my strength and my shield; my heart trusted in him, and I am helped: therefore my heart greatly rejoiceth; and with my song will I praise him. -Psalm 28:7, KJV When I was struggling with the end of my first marriage, I found songs helped me through the dark valley. They became my prayers. … Continue reading “Make a song your prayer”
Sink roots in God’s love for you
“And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ….” -Ephesians 3:17b-18, NIV The Good News–i.e. the Gospel–starts with this unfathomable thought: The God of the Universe knows and … Continue reading “Sink roots in God’s love for you”
Not “a mistake”
Cheating on a spouse is not just “a mistake.” We all make mistakes. True. No one is perfect. However, plenty of people never commit adultery. Many people are not involved in raping their spouse’s soul. Plenty of individuals do not live double lives or engage in concerted gas-lighting behavior to keep their spouse from believing the … Continue reading “Not “a mistake””