Pastor Steven Anderson handled this awful situation well, in my opinion (see above video). A pastor, Donnie Romero, who was infamously known for praying that the LGBTQ victims of the Pulse attack in Orlando would die from their wounds (see article here) was found to have been “with prostitutes….” And the world rejoiced over another … Continue reading “Another cheating pastor, Donnie Romero, falls from leadership”
STOP arguing over why you “deserved it!”
A sage trying to work things out with a fool gets only scorn and sarcasm for his trouble. -Proverbs 29:9, THE MESSAGE Arguing Over Why You “Deserved It” This is a wasted argument. It is like talking with someone with your face still bleeding and him/her asking you what you did to deserve having your … Continue reading “STOP arguing over why you “deserved it!””
Gratitude through Grief
“Blessed are they that mourn: for they shall be comforted.” Matthew 5:4, KJV Gifts from grief came along with all the hard, traumatic losses of my first marriage. For starters, I appreciate what was restored to me more. I do not take my position as a husband and father today for granted. This was driven … Continue reading “Gratitude through Grief”
Choose your beliefs well!
All sort of lies are spoken about faithful spouses. Cheaters are especially “good” at the discard. They speak distorted things about who we are in order to feel better as if they are discarding us like trash. It helps them to think of us that way. You do not have to believe their lies about … Continue reading “Choose your beliefs well!”
Good memories bring the pain
And no marvel; for Satan himself is transformed into an angel of light. -2 Corinthians 11:14, KJV While discovering adultery is awful, I think some of the more lasting pain comes from the positive experiences one had while married to a cheater. These memories–whether built on a lie or not–suggest things could have been otherwise. … Continue reading “Good memories bring the pain”
A cheater version of “honesty”
“Well, I have learned that I have to be open and honest. You never … (fill-in the cheater’s pet accusation of faithful spouse).” Cheater to pastor/couple’s counselor Does this ring a bell for anyone? If it does, I submit it does as it is part of the demonic playbook to destroy faithful spouses. To be clear, I am … Continue reading “A cheater version of “honesty””
Shaking off their dust
“But go rather to the lost sheep of the house of Israel. And as ye go, preach, saying, The kingdom of heaven is at hand. … And whosoever shall not receive you, nor hear your words, when ye depart out of that house or city, shake off the dust of your feet.” -Matthew 10:6-7, 14, … Continue reading “Shaking off their dust”
“The Anti-Adultery Rock Anthem”
I dub this: “The Anti-Adultery Tolerance Rock Anthem!” This past week I was listening to the music on my smartphone. “We’re Not Gonna Take It” by the Twisted Sisters popped up, and I thought, “What a wonderful song to strengthen the timid!” Therefore, strengthen your feeble arms and weak knees. -Hebrews 12:12, NIV This is … Continue reading ““The Anti-Adultery Rock Anthem””
Can a cheater remarry?
“And if she divorces her husband and marries another man, she commits adultery.” Mark 10:12, NIV Can a cheater remarry? The simple answer to this question is “Yes.” However, the full answer is more complicated than that. If the question is whether a cheater can remarry another person without sinning, then I think the … Continue reading “Can a cheater remarry?”
“Toxic Shame” as Cheater Self-Pity
“Talking about it just triggers my toxic shame. I can’t face what I did.” -Cheater This is a real conundrum for a faithful spouse. It is hard to heal when you do not have some of the basic facts and your spouse is refusing to help on that number citing “toxic shame.” The “toxic … Continue reading ““Toxic Shame” as Cheater Self-Pity”