“Telling” to Manipulate Normally, a Cheater coming “clean” with what they did is a good sign that you have something to work with (if you so choose). Yet how they disclose is important and can completely invalidate that hope. If your Cheater discloses and then launches into how you “drove them” to cheat, this is not repentance … Continue reading ““Telling” to manipulate”
Yes, get angry!
“‘Be angry, and do not sin’: do not let the sun go down on your wrath….” -Ephesian 4:26, NKJV God judgeth the righteous, and God is angry with the wicked every day. -Psalm 7:11, KJV Anger can be a gift. We ought to become angry over unrighteousness as God is angry over such things. … Continue reading “Yes, get angry!”
Buzz words of dismissal
“Defensive,” “Over sensitive,” “emotional,” “up in your feelings,” etc. These are the sort of labels people make of victims in order to avoid the awkward work of looking at the actual misbehavior. It’s very dismissive of the pain faithful spouses are experiencing to treat them like this. I have experienced labels like these over the … Continue reading “Buzz words of dismissal”
Choosing a pastor
Let them alone: they be blind leaders of the blind. And if the blind lead the blind, both shall fall into the ditch. -Matthew 15:14, KJV I wish I could say an older pastor will be more discerning and wiser than a younger pastor on matters of adultery and divorce. But that would be a … Continue reading “Choosing a pastor”
Intangible Losses
20 You have allowed me to suffer much hardship, but you will restore me to life again and lift me up from the depths of the earth. 21 You will restore me to even greater honor and comfort me once again. -Psalm 71:20-21, NLT Intangible Losses Some of the losses that come with divorcing your Cheater are … Continue reading “Intangible Losses”
Accused of being “manipulative”
Oh, the joys of those who do not follow the advice of the wicked, or stand around with sinners, or join in with mockers. -Psalm 1:1, NLT Cheaters often project their own treacherous behavior or character upon their marks. This is what is happening, in my opinion, when Cheaters call faithful spouses “manipulative.” They are … Continue reading “Accused of being “manipulative””
Lying into Liars.
Outside the city are the dogs–the sorcerers, the sexually immoral, the murderers, the idol worshipers, and all who love to live a lie. -Revelation 22:15, NLT Lie to Liar. At some point, I believe God gives Cheaters over to their lies. They no longer are people telling lies. They are liars. The lie is what … Continue reading “Lying into Liars.”
Odd ripples
When they saw Job from a distance, they scarcely recognized him. Wailing loudly, they tore their robes and threw dust into the air over their heads to show their grief. -Job 2:12, NLT A shared history is an underestimated loss in the story of a divorce from a Cheater. It creates odd ripples of grief. … Continue reading “Odd ripples”
Cheater-Speak: “I think it’s best…”
“I think it’s best for both of us if we live apart.” -Cheater A Cheater saying something like this is a Cheater planning on abandoning the faithful spouse. Now, they may or may not be self-aware about this. It is possible that they are so self-deceived that they believe the lie about the separation benefits. … Continue reading “Cheater-Speak: “I think it’s best…””
On Temporary Discomfort
For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. -2 Corinthians 4:17, NIV Weight training in equipment has provided a life lesson: Pressing into the discomfort leads to joy afterwards! When you have over 700lbs/317kg hanging over you, pressure starts building in the head with … Continue reading “On Temporary Discomfort”