My tears have been my food day and night, While they continually say to me, “Where is your God?” -Psalm 42:3, NKJV I remember going through a phase during my separation and divorce where I had to consciously remind myself to eat. The trauma from discovering the Other Man resulted in a twenty pound weight … Continue reading “Boy, the stress!”
PSA: Use a different therapist than your Cheater’s.
Public Service Announcement(PSA): Use a different therapist than your Cheater’s individual therapist.* If this therapist was half competent, they would not even agree to work on you as a couple. They would recognize that they naturally would be biased against you, the faithful spouse. Plus, do you really want the therapist who was present through … Continue reading “PSA: Use a different therapist than your Cheater’s.”
No, hanging out with Cheater is NOT okay!
“I meant that you are not to associate with anyone who claims to be a believer yet indulges in sexual sin, or is greedy, or worships idols, or is abusive, or is a drunkard, or cheats people. Don’t even eat with such people.” -I Corinthians 5:11, NLT One of the many pains associated with discovering … Continue reading “No, hanging out with Cheater is NOT okay!”
Overflow from the heart
21 For it is from within, out of a person’s heart, that evil thoughts come—sexual immorality, theft, murder, 22 adultery, greed, malice, deceit, lewdness, envy, slander, arrogance and folly. 23 All these evils come from inside and defile a person. -Mark 7:21-23, NIV Cheating did not happen overnight. An idea was planted. The Cheater watered it, and it produced the rotten … Continue reading “Overflow from the heart”
So, so many lies!
“He was a murderer from the beginning, not holding to the truth, for there is no truth in him. When he lies, he speaks his native language, for he is a liar and the father of lies.” -John 8:43b, NIV What was true? Was anything? So many lies come out of the mouths of Cheaters. The spoken … Continue reading “So, so many lies!”
Really defying God
“Do everything they say to you,” the Lord replied, “for they are rejecting me, not you. They don’t want me to be their king any longer.” -I Samuel 8:7, NLT For whatever reason, recognizing the larger picture is helpful. Cheaters are not “just” rejecting their spouse. They are rejecting God. They may say otherwise. In fact, they … Continue reading “Really defying God”
Their “honesty”
“I felt like I had to lie because you would get angry if you knew,” says Cheater. What the Cheater is really saying is that they feared not having complete control over you once you were no longer in the dark about the truth. Knowledge is power as the saying goes. They did not feel like … Continue reading “Their “honesty””
Phenomenon: Kid gloves with female Cheaters
“Rebuke your mother, rebuke her, for she is not my wife, and I am not her husband. Let her remove the adulterous look from her face and the unfaithfulness from between her breasts.” -Hosea 2:2, NIV I’ve noticed a phenomenon among pastors dealing with female Cheaters: They have a tendency to advocate for gentler confrontation with female … Continue reading “Phenomenon: Kid gloves with female Cheaters”
Shattered Self Esteem
He will not crush the weakest reed or put out a flickering candle. He will bring justice to all who have been wronged. -Isaiah 42:3, NLT Shattered Self Esteem One of the many stupid things about the dynamics regarding cheating is how all the sympathy often is sucked up by the Cheater. They are treated … Continue reading “Shattered Self Esteem”
Painful discard
He was despised and rejected by mankind, a man of suffering, and familiar with pain. Like one from whom people hide their faces he was despised, and we held him in low esteem. -Isaiah 53:3, NIV The divorce discard is painful. Some Cheaters cling to their marriage, and other Cheaters complete the rejection by filing for divorce. … Continue reading “Painful discard”