Just another day five years out… I used to dread the anniversary of my divorce. But this year it came and passed without me noticing. It was just another day five years later. I was too busy with my new life to be bothered by what is now ancient history…so to speak. I share this … Continue reading “Just another day five years out…”
It does get better…
Instead of your shame you will receive a double portion, and instead of disgrace you will rejoice in your inheritance. -Isaiah 61:7a, NIV It gets better… When in the depths of the darkness, it is hard to imagine the pain ever ending. The thought of a life without the person who became one with you in … Continue reading “It does get better…”
Just looking for an excuse to divorce? Really?!
Some Pharisees came and tried to trap him with this question: “Should a man be allowed to divorce his wife for just any reason?” -Mathew 19:3, NLT Are faithful spouses just looking for an excuse to divorce? Pastors, do you really think this? I am astounded that some pastors and Christian leaders believe faithful spouses … Continue reading “Just looking for an excuse to divorce? Really?!”
But God Stayed Married to Cheating Israel…
“I will punish her for all those times when she … went out to look for her lovers but forgot all about me,” says the Lord. “But then I will win her back once again.” -Hosea 2:13a,c, 14a, NIV But God stays married to us even though we are unfaithful to Him. Repeat after me: Hosea is … Continue reading “But God Stayed Married to Cheating Israel…”
Ode of Eeyore – Psalm 88
A favorite Psalm of mine is Psalm 88. I called it an “Ode of Eeyore” because this Psalm is dark. And I love that. It creates space for those of us who are experiencing the darkness. We don’t have to put on our “happy faces.” The author of Psalm 88 grants us permission to acknowledge … Continue reading “Ode of Eeyore – Psalm 88”
“I can tell you are still tender and healing.”
“I can tell you are still tender, healing.” -“Well-Meaning” Observer What bothers me the most about these sort of statements is how they are usually stated as a way to express compassion for the faithful spouse but really just communicate pity. Who enjoys being the object of pity?! Now, it is true that the infidelity … Continue reading ““I can tell you are still tender and healing.””
“You must not have been meeting his needs.”
“You must not have been meeting his needs.” -Cheater Apologist A version of this statement could also be said to men who discovered their cheating wives. It is victim blaming, pure and simple. The speaker often forgets that two people were not getting their “needs” met if one was not. Yet both did not respond … Continue reading ““You must not have been meeting his needs.””
God On Breaking Up Homes Following Adultery
The Idolatry of “Intact” Homes If a man is found sleeping with another man’s wife, both the man who slept with her and the woman must die. You must purge the evil from Israel. -Deuteronomy 22:22, NIV God did not prioritize keeping the marriage together over dealing with the evil of adultery in the Old … Continue reading “God On Breaking Up Homes Following Adultery”
Dear DM, What does restitution look like in my situation?
Dear Divorce Minister, My wife committed adultery 16 years ago. I forgave and renew my vows on tremendously incomplete information. She recently confessed to the entirety of the adultery after we have had 3 wonderful children. I can say with out hesitation I would have not continued in the marriage if I would have known … Continue reading “Dear DM, What does restitution look like in my situation?”
Christian Leaders, “Wilting Daisies” or “Bruised Reeds” cheaters are NOT!
When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me. – I Corinthians 13:11, NIV Let’s get something straight… A crushed “delicate flower” or a “bruised reed” does not have the energy … Continue reading “Christian Leaders, “Wilting Daisies” or “Bruised Reeds” cheaters are NOT!”